City life

By August 31, 2008Punch Forum

Edener Benitez Fabella
30 Aug 2008

Once upon a time ancient as it may have sounded, Filipinos discovered we are skillful people. One was about protecting yourself from certain individuals exhibiting bizarre and unpredictable behavior.

Often we come across people society has branded patients belonging to that famous institution in Mandaluyong. It did not matter if the person had taken ill or driven to that point of no return. We make fun of them others were hurt because we assume they are dangerous and so it is better them than us if you will. Bagay nga sa kanya kasi sira ang ulo we say.

We are troubled whenever within spitting distance of someone talking to himself/herself. Especially troubling is chancing upon a couple gazing at the moon and talking about buying a house and lot there. Suddenly, they pause to take a look at you somewhat pissed off for you looking at them in the middle of their house hunting on the moon?

You realize you are in deep dodoo it’s time to call Mamang Pulis sensing danger lurking in the bushes. Can’t help blaming yourself for being at the wrong place at the wrong time?

Luckily, many of us made it through that era unscathed. We were smart enough to know it didn’t pay to confront someone resembling Jack Nicholson or Robert DeNiro who is asking; ‘are you talking to me?’

Today, we are far too deep in trouble if you ask me. With Bluetooth headsets, hands free devices, speaker phones etc., people both young and old flock the streets talking, giggling, yelling, cursing and what not. It is no longer possible to know which of them is about to make you experience body aches and pains.

Where before, you cross to the other side of the street to avoid people talking to themselves. With everyone (almost) having some device plugged to their ears like hearing aid, where do you turn to and what to do?

ME? I am thinking of giving up city life and moving in a cave. I figure if Bin Laden can hack it so can I. Is there a better life holed up inside a cave watching Peter Sellers and James Cagney old movies? No complicated cooking just a can of pork and beans and peanut butter cookies? Angel Locsin and Katrina Halili posters decorating your pantry reminding me constantly to lay-off cup-a-noodles and Korean kimchee such lovely bodies!

What happens when food runs out? I remember Andrew Zimmern rejoinder; ‘if it looks good eat it!

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