A new chapter 

By Johanne Margarette R. Macob 
 


IT was a sultry morning and then drops of rain fell in the late afternoon till night time, resulting in moist, mud and yes, headaches.

She took a final sip of her previously-hot coffee along with some meds before deciding to lock herself up in her room upstairs. The memory of her and her boyfriend’s breakup is still the freshest in her system. She went down the bathroom to take a shower, hoping that the water and the cleaning agents would somehow rub out the feeling. Yet, of course, nothing changed.

She went back to her room and checked on her Facebook account. A number of sympathetic messages, advice mostly, have filled up her inbox since she started revealing the scenario little by little. She smiled, feeling genuinely better.

It was only three days ago when she decided to put a period – not just the usual ‘space’ – to their almost a decade unlikely relationship through the social network site. “I had enough” are her last three words on the message. It was her first time in more than eight years to be able to say such words, to do such move, to have that courage.  She was the one who ended it but she feels like she’s hurting more.

Just like the present weather, their relationship – which once had all the warmth – turned all of a sudden into cumulonimbus-ish, then the drops of coldness broke down.

One moment she thought of altering her decision so as to save the bond, again…. as it had been for many times in the past. She wanted to stop the rain, only to realize that summer is over and waters from up there will visit more frequently than ever. It is about time to accept things as they are, she thought.

It was three in the morning. It’s been hours since she laid on her bed, doing nothing but thinking of everything.

She opened her Fb again and perused again the words of the people – some of which surprised her – who actually care. She listened to them.

Most importantly though, she let her heart and mind speak up. After a while, the muscles near both ends of her mouth flexed. She got up. She reached for all the stuff that her ex has something to do with, and in a couple of minutes, the room bears no tangible memorabilia of him, of them, anymore.

Doing such signified her ending of that part of her life to start a new one. For the nth time, she mulled over what happened. Back then – she realized – she did more than what she planned to do: sang even if out of tune, offered more than what she could afford for herself, felt being loved but she loved far more. She learned a lot and of all the learnings, it’s about “loving herself more and foremost” that made the biggest mark. She learned that is the best thing about it.

The next day, despite the shatters caused by the heartbreak, she put herself together and found herself standing before someone she loves the most. It will all be okay in time, she whispered to the mirror. Then, she grinned at the sun but prepared herself for the rain, ready to face the world anew with eyes wide open.

After all the cleaning up and with determination to move forward, she got back to work and started writing an article. A new chapter, it is.

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