Punchline
Smiley PD Barba Formula
By Ermin Garcia Jr.
Three weeks ago, the PUNCH reported how the provincial police succeeded in curbing cattle rustling in the province. No shot was fired. It only took a few copies of the PNP stationery that contained a uniform short, courteous yet stern message from the provincial police chief, and delivered by the barangay kapitans to do the trick.
Take a bow, Smiley PD Barba! Three cheers! You succeeded where your predecessors (including Guv. Spines who once served as our police provincial director) failed miserably. They tried but failed to stop the feared cattle rustlers and could only manage an occasional cat-and-mouse chase in the dark.
His success is significant and unprecedented that it’s only proper for Pangasinan to refer to his unique approach in crime-solving as the ‘Smiley PD Barba Formula’ (SPBF)! This is one template for crime-solving tactic that the starry-eyed leaders at the PNP HQ in Camp Crame should learn, and teach to all provincial directors. Galing mo, Smiley PD!
Okay now that we are done with the cheering and plaudits, let’s get down to brass tacks.
The I way I see it, there’s nothing now that Guv Spines and Smiley PD Barba cannot lick from hereon, employing the tried and tested SPBF tactic. Assuming that SPBF was not a mere palabas, the days of the illegal gambling and drug syndicates operating in the province are certainly numbered! Imagine what the duo can do for this province.
The cattle rustlers to whom the SPBF love letters were sent to, were identified and known to the barangay kapitans. Similarly, the jueteng operators (and their kubradores) and the drug dealers (and their pushers) are usually known to barangay officials as well, otherwise they have no business keeping their titles. They all deserve a letter each from our Smiley PD, properly noted by Guv Spines.
Given the fresh experience, it’s not difficult to imagine what the impact of the SPBF love letters delivered by the kapitans, would be like if all the identified scums-of-the-earth in our barangays were written to!
Imagine! We will no longer have corrupt public and police officials who earn their weekly keep from jueteng operators, driving around in their late-model SUVs, only dedicated public servants (and yes, still with their SUVs presumably bought with “honest” income). We will have less parents worrying about having a drug addict in the troubled household, and only about unwanted teenage pregnancies. There will be less dangerous and armed goons, whose sole ambition in life is to be feared by their wives, in our midst.
Last but not least, Guv Spines will finally get Archbishop Oscar Cruz off his back, out of his life, earning the earthly peace he richly deserves.
So start writing, Smiley PD Barba! You got hundreds to write to! Do it for Guv Spines’ sake. Before you know it, the over-bearing provincial board will hail you as “Pangasinan’s favorite son she never had.”
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MAKE PANGASINAN H1N1-FREE. Now that the country is confirmed to have its first H1N1 carrier after a trip to the U.S. and Canada, it is now imperative for Pangasinenses who traveled and recently arrived from an overseas trip to quarantine themselves inside their homes for at least 3 days.
Those who go on denial, refusing to believe that they could be possible carriers are risking the lives of their relatives, friends and neighbors. Anyone who shows any sign of the symptoms can save his or her life by making the condition known to a doctor or the nearest hospital within hours.
The life you save will not only be yours. Imagine the consequences of a failure to report the condition on time and prevent an epidemic outbreak. In other countries, we’ve seen how schools were closed, shopping malls were shunned, business shops and offices were left empty.
To catch a flu at this time is certainly hazardous to your health. Let’s help make Pangasinan an H1N1-free province!
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