Young Roots
What is vs. What if
By Johanne Macob
It’s brave to ask “what if?”, but it’s braver to embrace “what is.”
I JUST came home from a family movie date with our mom, a rarity. She decided to join us precisely this once because of the attraction that the movie offered – “Second Chance.” – where that quote was used.
The film is a sequel to a blockbuster movie in 2008. The two movies centered on the development of the relationship between two college sweethearts. They fell in love then fell out of love, then got back together. They got married, had a rocky start but eventually things fell into their proper places eventually. I’d say it’s a fictional representation of the usual reality. One important element in the movie, or the two movies, are the lines that the characters delivered. The writers were really great at choosing the right words, the words that strike at the heart then linger in the mind like “It’s brave to ask “what if?”, but it’s braver to embrace “what is.”” It had me thinking not only about relationships but practically to everything about life.
I often read pieces of advice, particularly to the youth, saying if a situation no longer works, , then move out. if a relationship is not going well anymore, then leave, move on. If something no longer serves you well, if it stopped bringing happiness and fun, if the situation is no longer easy to deal with, then leave and find something else. We should explore different options to seek answers for our “what ifs,” leaving our problematic “what is.” Perhaps, this is a good attitude – to search for an alternative. It is okay to choose to be happy. It is fine to wonder “what if?”
However, I feel there is more to seeking answers to “what ifs.” The “what ifs” should only be addressed when you’ve figured out the situation at hand, only after you’ve had a resolution with your “what is.”
We can’t go on living our lives simply turning our back on our problems. If we want to move out and move on, then we must first confront the issues. If we don’t, we will get used to that cycle of starting things and leaving them unfinished. For instance, students cannot just give up on their our studies easily and still expect an easier life. We cannot just keep on changing courses or career paths without valid reasons. We must always remember that “something else” doesn’t always mean “something better.” Besides, perhaps the situation is not the real problem, but us, the way we see it, the way we handle it. I must admit I, too, am one of those who want to simply leave when things are not okay. I’ve tried that approach for several times. I ended up nowhere. Perhaps, it was good for a moment, but only for a while. The thing is, if we cannot embrace all the things, the lovely and the ugly, today, what makes us think we can hold the future better?
So let me end this thought the way I started it.
It’s brave to ask “what if?”, but it’s braver to embrace “what is.”
(For your comments and reactions, please email to: punch.sunday@gmail.com)
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