Punchline

Rotary’s Five Way Test

By Ermin Garcia Jr.

Anent my item last issue about Rotarians and their fellow Rotarian Joc-joc Bolante, Rotarian Jun Velasco of the Rotary Club of Metro-Cubao informed me that his club was among the first to manifest its disappointment over the flight of Rtn, Joc-joc, away from the senate investigation to escape possible prosecution in the P728 million fertilizer scam.

He pointed out to us that his club’s bulletin “Batingaw” under his watch was first to manifest its dismay over the South Makati Rotarian’s failure to pass the Four Way Test.

But what he said truly disappointed him most was the reaction of District Gov. Benjie Bacorro. The latter defended his district’s silence on Bolante’s issue by stating that Mr. Bolante has not been convicted of any crime.

Oo nga naman. All that Rotarian Joc-joc has done is to run and hide from the senators invoking the good name of Rotary, so he doesn’t have to lie again and lie more than his patron GMA did. He will fail the Four Way Test.

Okay, so let’s give Rotarian Joc-joc, the Five Way Test –

1. Is it a lie? 2. Is it Fair to some? Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendship? 4. Will it be Beneficial to your friends? 5. Will it help another Rotarian if you cheat, lie, steal or be silent?

Welcome to the world of Joc’Joc’s Rotary.

* * *

Given the ominous silence of the Pangasinan Rotarians on Rotary International Treasurer’s criminal intent, I can only surmise how they, in fact, practice and embody the Five Way Test themselves.

The Lions and Jaycees of the world can only thank the heavens for they don’t have anyone approximating a Joc-joc in their ranks and never have to confront themselves with a Five Way Test.

What a big “Joc” this Rotary has become! What say you, Vice Mayor Alvin Fernandez, president of Rotary Club of Dagupan, the cream of Pangasinan’s premier mother clubs?

* * *

Joe de V at the crossroads

If one reads the news that the Dagupan City government has decided to expand the Bangus Festival, making it a district-wide affair and no longer an exclusive Dagupan event, even the uninitiated cannot help but wonder what prompted it all.

The tongue-in-cheek denials of both Mayor Benjie Lim himself and his minion, festival chairman Nic Aquino only serve to fuel the speculation that war drums are signaling a call to arms in the district.

Let me rephrase that. It’s a smoke signal to Speaker JDV to prepare for a siege.

From where I sit, it looks like Mayor Benjie has Speaker JDV’s political plans all figured out for him to seriously plot to regain his congressional seat in 2007.

He knew that it will have to take the political genius in JDV to see himself crowned by 2007 and beyond. In the past, it was no secret that the Speaker never had to campaign so hard to keep his congressional seat tucked under his belt, and his journey to the speakership each time was almost always a given.

Yes, nobody got in the way of JDV’s political plans, until now.

* * *

But times have changed.

Since JDV started dreaming the big dream, to be the slot player in the move to shift the country’s form of government from a presidential system to a parliamentary system, the political gambits and characters have become increasingly difficult to manage.

Former President Fidel Ramos is a power broker who certainly could influence JDV’s political fortunes. But while JDV is going for broke for Mrs. Gloria Arroyo, FVR is not about ready to dance to all her beat. Yes, FVR might yet be the one who will throw the monkey wrench that would force GMA to make a turnaround in her commitment to support the parliament shift.

Then, there is Mrs. Arroyo who might just ponder the possibility of rejecting the proposition that she merely be a figurehead, as appointed president. She might yet decide that she, not JDV, should be the powerful prime minister. Given what the opposition already promised to do after she steps down, guess what she is likely to choose.

So what should she do to continue to hold all the aces? She has her options and JDV, more than anyone else, is well aware of these.

First, she will betray JDV. She will make sure JDV loses his seat in congress. For someone who has demonstrated that she has no qualms about betraying friends and country, this scenario is all too clearly possible.

Second, she can choose the timetable within which to pursue the charter change to keep JDV off-balanced. How? Simply by stringing all congressmen and local government officials tied to her purse. She, who holds the purse, holds dominion over everyone, that includes JDV. Having learned the price of a particular governor, mayor or congressman, making mincemeat out of JDV is the easiest thing to do.

What is she in power for, indeed?

* * *

I have no doubt that Mayor Benjie will attempt to regain his seat in 2007 because he realizes that he will never have a chance as good as this one. He knows JDV’s resources in 2007 will be weighed down heavily by the parliament card.

For JDV, winning a reelection as congressman but losing the parliament card along the way, is no plum at all. He will never be prime minister.

f JDV wins the parliament card but loses in the congressional contest, he cannot be a prime minister.

Right now, only two things can bless JDV’s stars.

He must win the parliament card first then push for a “No-Election” option. Or he buys off any potential threat (read my lips -BSL) to his congressional seat and then go all out for the parliament card.

Now come the difficult questions.

How will he convince the people to agree to a No-El?

And, will Mayor Benjie agree to be bought? (Name your new price, Mr. Lim).

* * *

The stench at the city sanggunian

Dagupan City Councilor Joey Tamayo stirred a hornet’s nest over the week by soliciting opinions of overseas Pangasinenses about his proposed ordinance ostensibly to attract investments for the city.

All that he got so far was a stream of drubbing for how the onor-onor council performed over the years. Keeping a brave front, he tried to make excuses for his mates’ “shortcomings” but to no avail.

When something rotten stinks, nothing can ever blow over the stench. Not even on cyberspace.

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