Punchline
Meet the BBs!
By Ermin F. Garcia Jr.
I received an email from my sister Frieda in Illinois last week enjoining me to read a column that appeared in New York Times penned by David Brooks. His piece was titled “The Great Forgetting”.
I knew why she sent it. The column pointed out what we have began to complain about recently, forgetting many things that we never had problems with until two years ago. I knew she meant to say: Hindi tayo nag-iisa!
That was truly consoling for someone who’s been in constant denial about his state of mortality.
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RECOGNIZING THE BBs. Being forgetful before reaching the age 50 is usually dismissed as being inattentive, but being forgetful when you’re passed 50 means you have become a part of the privileged class of people – the exciting mature (not socially correct to use the dirty word ‘old’) set! Those born between 1945 and 1955 (from my perspective, that was not too long ago, hehe) are a.k.a. “baby boomers” (BB), can relate with this universal new social challenge – bad memory!
The BB (the appropriate acronym since it originally referred to the baby boomer’s super wet dream -Brigitte Bardot of the 50s) is easily recognizable. If he/she is prone to long pauses during conversations, to sudden slowdown in physical movement particularly when walking, clearly contemplating answers or responses to easy questions and scenarios, chances are he/she is a charming BB grappling with his 5 Ws!
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THE 5 Ws FOR THE BB. The set of 5 Ws is what I and news reporters live by to report a news. But to baby boomers (including aging journalists), the 5Ws pose a more serious and personal challenge. The minute any of the 5Ws shoots through our brains, we are reminded of how we have become vulnerable and suddenly feel a creepy sense of mortality. Still to others, it leads to fears of feebleness and senility. It marks the end of the days of alertness, infallibility, spontaneity.. and reliability.
The first W is about ‘Who’, i.e., Who is this guy who just greeted me? Who was it who told me about the sale? Who was that woman who buzzed me on the cheek? Who was that boy who brought the gifts? Who was this relative who died last week? Who was that woman who looked like Max Alvarado? Who married that goat?
The second W is about ‘What’, i.e., What’s the word for it? What’s his name again? What was I supposed to buy here? What did she tell me to read? What’s my mother-in-law’s name? What medicine am I supposed to take tonight?
The third W is about ‘Where’ i.e., Where did I meet this girl? Where was I last week? Where did I buy it? Where was I supposed to meet him? Where did we plan to go?
The fourth W is about ‘When’ i.e., When did I say that? When did I meet this bum? When did I pay for it? When did I agree to it? When did I get married?
The fifth W is about ‘Why’ i.e., Why did I buy this? Why did I tell her to get it? Why was I in that meeting? Why was I angry? Why did he ask me to do it?
I’m sure who you can add to these difficult questions . . . that is if you remember what these are.
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FUN TO BE BB. But being a BB suffering from bad memory does not have to be traumatic or embarrassing. One doesn’t even have to be defensive or apologetic about it.
In fact, it can actually be fun knowing you are a BB. Here’s how.
Make it your mission to go out to the world to help improve everyone’s memory, and take credit for it!
It’s certainly healthier to go on the offensive, make others remember (for you!) instead of keeping the 5 Ws to your self, breaking your wits to get the right answer and response!
Yes, direct the 5Ws to the persons around you. Simply pre-phase them – “Do you remember .. this guy who just greeted me? .. the word for it? .. where I was last week? . .when I said that? why I bought it?
And when you get the right reply, say “Good, don’t forget that!”
If your company doesn’t have a clue of what you want him to remember, you can very well simply dismiss the thought as if to say ‘nothing important’.
Then you go on with your life, happy with the thought that either you helped people improve their memory or that others are not better off than you!
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RULES OF ENGAGEMENT. On reading the NYT column, I’d like to submit the following set of “Rules of Engagement” that the generation X and others can go by to enjoy every occasion with a fabulous BB.
1. Re-introduce yourself quickly to someone who has not seen you for years before going on with the usual niceties. (Nothing can be more exasperating to a BB than being made to guess who the hell you are, and to you for not being sure if the BB really knew who you are).
Say to the BB: “Hi, I’m Ed, I was your wife’s dancing partner last year, kamusta la?” (Besides, there’s nothing like hearing someone constantly acknowledging you by your name in the middle of any conversation, so do yourself the favor – tell him your name!). Your BB friend will never forget your name the next time I think.
2. Help liven up the discussion (and jog your BB’s memory) by volunteering names of mutual friends you remember, and yes, including members of your family known to the BB.
Say to the BB- “I saw Greg, Lito and Alan last week.” And “My youngest, Alex, is going to college this year.” Your BB will forever enjoy talking to you.
3. Don’t you dare admonish a BB with “You don’t remember?” That’s rubbing salt to an open wound! You are one acquaintance best forgotten.
Say to the BB- “I’m sure you remember when Caloy proposed to Bianca…” Yes, presume your BB remembers even he/she doesn’t. By remembering it for him/her, you will be dearly appreciated by your BB.
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REMEMBERING THE GOOD THINGS. Still on bad memory, I remember this anecdote about three casanovas aged 70, 80 and 90 who sat idly by in a mall watching all the pretty girls walk by.
The unassuming 70-year old said: “I remember how the girls loved me when I gave them flowers.”
The 80-year bragged. “I remember how the girls swooned when I kissed them.
The frail 90-year would not be outdone. “I remember how the girls went wild when I..-uh..I….” He slowly stood up and began to gesture with his hips, humping. “What did you call that?”
Bad memory? Certainly not. He remembered what it was all about, didn’t he?
(Readers may reach columnist at punch.sunday@gmail.com. For past columns, click http://sundaypunch.prepys.com/archives/category/opinion/punchline/
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