Punchline
Joe de V, no longer “Mr. Nice Guy”
By Ermin Garcia Jr.
Well, well, it looks like the stakes in the political poker game in Dagupan City and in the fourth district have more than doubled. My favorite mayor Benjie Lim’s earlier bets (or bluff?) are being “called” and “raised” by Speaker Joe de V, he who had prayed to the heavens that all bets would be called off even before the poker game could start. But it was not to be. He has been drawn out to the open to do battle in what could be the costliest political fight yet for him yet.
What started out as a casual challenge to the fourth district representation for both is now a full-blown “blink-and-you-lose” in a “winner-take-all” (fourth district and Dagupan) deadly political game that my favorite mayor started.
What Mr. Benjie seriously miscalculated was he thought the game would begin and end in my favorite speaker’s court, but he thought wrong. From the looks of it, the whole thing can very well end and blow up in Mr. Benjie’s face.
Mr. Speaker recently raised the ante by betting on the high pair of Al Fernandez-Belen Fernandez against my favorite mayor and/or his son Brian in the city mayoralty open-cards game.
It’s grit-for-grit, eye-for-an-eye, tooth-for-a-tooth and a money-for-money game. Certainly, not a game for amateur politicos. It would be well for newly retired chief PNP Art Lomibao to get out of the two warring Dagupeños’ path until the smoke clears.
* * *
My favorite mayor should watch Speaker JdV’s body language.
For starters, in case he hasn’t noticed, Speaker Joe has already donned his old but reliable, thick political armor. While he still publicly projects the amiable “Mr. Rainbow Man” image, his droopy soulful eyes already occasionally turn into tiny slits meant to scare off those who dare suggest he can lose to my favorite mayor in the fourth district race.
His usual “win-win” posturing is slowly evolving into a “take-no-prisoners” stance. Notice that he has not hinted at any possible “win-win” formula in my favorite mayor’s case. Instead, he already suited up Immigrations Comm. Al Fernandez for what promises to be a no-holds-barred square -off to make sure that my favorite mayor will have no place to hide. Then in a vengeful way, he invited Belen Fernandez (no relation to Al), my favorite mayor’s arch foe and business competitor, to be Comm. Al’s vice mayoral candidate just to make sure Mr. Benjie gets the message. Ugh! That hurts.
No more Mr. Nice Guy, huh, Mr. Speaker?
* * *
Now that my favorite Speaker has raised the stakes, it’s now Mr. Benjie’s turn to raise or call or fold.
Go ahead and “raise” Mr. Benjie! It’s not the time to call the bluff. Instead call in the reinforcements from your patron, President Ramos. Don’t budge. Don’t fold!
Besides, you still have a handful of loyal onor-onors in your pockets (although my pretty mole inside city hall said that your favorite hatchet-man, No. 1 absentee councilor Jojo Guadiz, has already opted to get out of the mayor’s stables). Just make sure, your onor-onors are “well fed” 24/7!
But to the keen political pundits, my favorite mayor’s “hakots” will eventually be no match to the joint “hakots” of my favorite speaker and Comm. Al and business magnate Belen.
* * *
DERAILED EXPRESS RUN. The latest run of the Benjie Express Train in Dagupan (a.ka. Magsaysay Park Tourism Complex) is surprisingly behind schedule. I thought my favorite mayor would already have a photo on the PUNCH’s front page by now showing him and the Siapno cousins (Michael and Alex) donning hardhats doing the ceremonial ground-breaking with shovels in hand. Looks like my favorite mayor had sorely miscalculated the run this time.
Evidently, he did not come up with contingencies in dealing with his bunch of onor-onors who have to this day refused to sign the resolution authorizing him to enter into a contract with Metrostate Realty Corporation. Yes, the very same people who rushed to have the resolution approved in the same fashion as the congressmen who voted to stop the impeachment of President Arroyo suddenly forgot how to sign their names! Their amnesia was triggered by the refusal of the lead architect for the conspiracy to pass the resolution, absentee councilor Jojo Guadiz, to affix his own signature in his own committee report that backed up the positions submitted by City Legal Officer Dindin Baniqued.
My other mole insists the chief onor-onor now wants out of the Magsaysay Park deal and is already dancing his way to my favorite speaker’s house in Bonuan in exchange for a plum post at the Department of Transportation and Communication (where his absences in his post will not be noted in the PUNCH).
It appears that not even the “agreed and delivered arrangements” cannot compel the absentee councilor to deliver because he cannot risk being charged by the ombudsman at this time when the odds are clearly not in his favor, clearly on the advice of Speaker Joe de V.
Whatever the case, the refusal of the absentee councilor and his sidekicks to sign the resolution has more than vindicated our Vice Mayor Alvin who dared to finally stand up to his mayor on moral and legal grounds.
* * *
Because absentee Guadiz has refused to sign his own committee report, the other onor-onors who rode the express train decided to just sit still and would not dream of becoming my favorite mayor’s “hero” as the first to sign. Yes, believe it or not, the ever loyal onor-onors who backed their chief onor-onor as originally scripted suddenly suffered a paralysis of the brain. Ataktakot ira!
For once they refused to be the fall guys for my favorite mayor. But sadly, it was for a different motivation and reason. They just wanted to save their skins.
This cowardice by the onor-onors only proves that they never believed for a moment that they acted on the side of the law and for our people. For if they truly believed in absentee Guadiz’s gobbledygook, they would not wait for the latter’s signature.
It’s now every man for himself at this point. The ship is sinking. The only councilors who feel vindicated this early are Councilors Farah Decano, Jose Netu Tamayo, Michael Fernandez and Alex De Venecia who voted against the anomalous resolution.
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VG LAMBINO AS LAKAS KINGPIN. I am certain the national arbitration committee of LAKAS did not have a difficult time upholding Vice Guv Oscar Lambino as the party’s anointed. After all, he is the province’s party chairman and to his credit he blindly defended GMA against the “Hello Garci” whatever it took.
But now comes the difficult part – winning for LAKAS! Between a determined Agbayani clan, a confident Cong. Amado Espino and comebacking governor Oca Orbos, the vice-guv cannot be certain it’s a shoo-in for him.
(For past columns, click http://sundaypunch.prepys.com/archives/category/opinion/punchline/)
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