Punchline
The boy… and sex
By Ermin F. Garcia Jr.
Summer season is that time of the year that most boys aged 5-11 either look forward to or dread coming.
‘Tis the time for circumcision! It means pain and a test of one’s courage. It means passage to maturity, affirmation of manhood.
Alas, it’s also the start of misconception about sex and nature’s reproductive system. And members of the immediate family of the newly circumcised boy unwittingly contribute to it.
The boy is teased no end to finally being both attracted to and attractive to the girls. The teasing infers that the boy is ready to engage in sexual intercourse with no other reference to responsibility being attached to it.
Through it all, the newly circumcised boy who has not had any studied information about one’s libido and the reproductive system, readily yields and accepts the notion of sex as a fun sport (as depicted in pornography).
In other words, the young boy is being told by his elders – “Go ahead, have fun!” Reference to the use of a condom is not even mentioned.
And when the boy is arrested by the police for rape or finally impregnates a girl at an early age, the boy is berated for not knowing any better, too late!
But how could the poor boy know any better when nobody bothered to tell him that forcing a girl to have sex with him will get him arrested and jailed, or that a girl can get pregnant with one, single consummated unprotected sex?
The message that sex can get him into a lot of trouble is left unsaid. Only the teasing about the fun part about sex bombards a young vulnerable mind whose body is already overflowing with testosterone.
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This negative social aspect of circumcision is not lost to anyone except perhaps the government.
While our government spends billions annually ostensibly to promote responsible parenthood, meaning married couples to bear responsibility for the number of children and their eventual care, it does little to avert sexual violence. A runaway population is the main and only concern of government.
The limited sexual education in schools whose orientation is basically anatomical does little to help form moral and responsible values towards sex among the youth. Nothing is taught much less mentioned about our rape laws, the growing incidence of single parenthood and unwanted teenage pregnancy.
Given the tradition and the new social context within which the circumcision ritual and procedure has taken shape, I suggest that the national and the local governments take advantage of the emerging culture and the traditional season for circumcision as the best opportunity to imbibe the value of responsibility on young boys to whom God and nature have given the task to procreate.
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Here is an idea that might spell a difference in the lives of the soon to be circumcised boys.
Why not present a 30-minute DVD-movie a la National Geographic or Discovery format inside government and private hospitals to young boys before they are ushered in to the room for their circumcision? On top of the clinical review of the reproductive organs of both male and female, I suggest a short discussion on the laws on rape, cases of young boys arrested for sex crimes, testimonies of young girls and boys caught in unwanted pregnancies, and phases in life that would lead to responsible parenthood.
Without these inputs in our young’s minds, I see no hope of seeing less commission of rape by young boys, the abatement of growing number of sex deviants influenced by prolific pornographers, less teenage pregnancies and single parenthood in this and the next generation.
***
Today, even news about a grandfather raping his own daughter and granddaughter no longer seem to shock the communities. Neither does the news of a gang rape of a drugged unsuspecting young girl raise any serious concern for long.
Sure, some rape cases involving prominent personalities become sensational news but these news items are now dismissed as mere perversions of the times that go hand in hand with development. Meanwhile families simply go on denial mode rejecting the possibility that it can happen to a member of their family.
But it does, and when it does only then do the victims (and their families) come to the realization that they are helpless against violence inflicted on them by men and boys who knew no better.
Sadly, the government (and yes, the religious sector) has done little to avert the continuing and increasing incidence of violence being committed against women, mothers, sisters and daughters.
Ours has become a permissive and tolerant society that refuses to become responsible for its members. Fortunately, we have organized groups that look into the plight of abused women but there’s no one that seeks to raise awareness in the society about the causes and effects of violent sex among our young.
The fact remains many young girls continue to be victims of date-rape that lead to unwanted pregnancies. Who and what can protect them?
While the newly circumcised boy, he who has been made socially-aware by his family of the impact of violent and irresponsible sex on their lives and others, may not be able to stop the perverts, at least he can grow up respecting women.
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CELEBRATING LIFE AT 90.
Justice Jorge Coquia. Uncle George may have stopped celebrating his birthdays with his school chums in the past 10 years but his 90th birthday bash at the Manila Hotel organized by his children last April 26 showed he has since collected more friends who have nothing but sheer admiration for his jovial personality and continued mental alertness. Alzheimer doesn’t appear to be in his vocabulary.
In a brief message to his friends and relatives who came to celebrate with him, he shared a story about an old man’s secret for his blessed long life. His story –
A 90-year old man told his audience he attributed his long life to 10 secret activities. The first one, the man said, “Keep your interest in women.” Then he kept silent, simply nodded his head and added nothing else.
“What are the other 9?” the crowd chorused.
“They are not important,” he retorted.
With that Uncle George ended that anecdote and quickly cited the relevance of that story to his life, he announced – “My interest in my wife, Libring, never waned.”
That’s a truly blessed couple we have today.
Lola Pacing Erfe-Verzosa. Reaching the age of 93 is indeed cause for celebration. This was exactly what the Erfe clan did last May 1 for the grand lady of San Fabian. She still remains the clan’s matriarchal icon, her voice crisp as ever, like she never left her post as a school principal 50 years ago. It was a day of thanksgiving for the clan that gathered that day!
(Readers may reach columnist at punch.sunday@gmail.com. For past columns, click http://sundaypunch.prepys.com/archives/category/opinion/punchline/
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