Punchline
My dream monologue with Mr. ALC
By Ermin Garcia Jr.
IN our last issue, our Fire Player Gonz Duque recounted how one of the meetings that Mayor Belen Fernandez had with businessman Antonio L. Cabangon Chua proceeded over the sale and ownership of the MC Adore property.
At one point, Mr. Cabangon Chua reportedly suggested to simply return MC Adore and make Mayor Belen return the money he paid the city for the property. But when she said the city would gladly return his P119-M, he reportedly said P119-M would not be enough since he had spent a lot more than that to win the bid! That reaction naturally drew a gasp from her and reportedly replied lamely –“ Ah ganoon ba?”. End of negotiation.
I’m afraid the non-confrontational nature of Mayor Belen missed out on the opportunity to pursue a real settlement.
* * * * *
If given the opportunity to pick up the issue where they left off, here’s what I imagine would likely say to Mr. Cabangon Chua from across the table:
“So, Mr. Cabangon Chua, what and how much more are we talking about to agree to a settlement? Another P100-M?
“I think an additional P100-M is still reasonable since our mayor has confirmed that the property is worth at least P300-M. By all means, you should be paid P100-M more! But on one condition: You must declare an itemized account of your claimed expenses, the same thing you demanded from your Mr. Johnny Dayang and Mr. Allan Sison to whom you reportedly shelled out P500,000 for the take-over of the Pangasinan Press Club that went pffftt! Wow, that was a serious miscalculation of Gonz. He’s not Gonz for nothing… don’t you see he loves playing with fire too much?
“By the way, what is this I heard that you fired Allan Sison as your DWIZ-FM manager, reverted him to his original status as the ever popular Dr. Heart, no longer a foul-mouthed commentator that you reportedly encouraged him to be for almost a year? And is it true that you now make him report to Orly Navarro, Allan’s former subordinate? That’s not good. I feel Dr. Heart’s hurt. After all, isn’t he your confidante in Pangasinan affairs as he claims? Oh well… such is life. Dr. Heart must have learned the hard way that life sucks! Sana Orly will treat him nice naman!
Now…where was I?
* * * * *
“Yes, that’s right Mr. Cabangon Chua, come up with your own version of ‘Napolist’, your list of ‘beneficiaries’ who took advantage of your benevolence and generosity, they who duped you into forking over P100-M for representation and ‘management fee’ kuno in return for the guarantee to own the P300-M MC Adore for only P119-M!
“That’s only fair, isn’t it Mr. Cabangon Chua? The city government must be able to justify the additional P100-M for without it, the COA will be after Mayor Belen’s neck, and I’m sure you don’t like that happening to her even if you already filed a complaint against her before the ombudsman.
* * * * *
“I’ll tell you what, If you have a hard time recalling some details how the P100-M disappeared, perhaps I can help you recall with the tidbits that I heard from among those who claimed to be in the know: The Judas 9 received a sum total of P5-M each daw. There is Mr. Tony Uy, the favorite operator of our former mayor, BSL, who made you look like a gullible old fool, probably pocketed P5-M too, daw. That’s P50-M right there! But of course, that’s for you, the Judas 9 and Mr. Uy to confirm all that! Right now, these are mere hearsay, di ba?
“That leaves you only P50-M to account for, right? Unfortunately, our BSL and his sidekick Vlad Mata, former city administrator, are nowhere to be found and cannot help you confirm how much of the balance was split between them and the six or so Dagupeños who unconscionably participated in the scam by lending their names to official documents in order to fast-track the public bidding. Remember the bidding with a scandalously low starting bid price to benefit you? Don’t forget the COA officials pa in the region who blindly endorsed the scam! Sorry but’s all that I came to know and nobody really knows who pocketed the most.
* * * * *
“But wait I think there’s a miscalculation there. P50-M is much too small to be shared among them. For sure, BSL could not possibly allow a situation where he would earn much less in the deal than what the Judas 9 and Mr. Tony Uy pocketed combined. So is it possible you actually spent more than P100-M, huh, Mr. Cabangon Chua?
“Well…Ok lang. just itemize and describe the expenses. The city can trust your accounting since you are a well-respected businessman with a social conscience and responsibility! I’m sure your early revelation will enable the mayor and her A-Team (Gonz, Ope Reyna and Manny Roy) to begin to plan separately how to raise the P219-M plus for you. Wouldn’t you like that? Your money back in full!
* * * * *
“So what do you think, Mr. CabangonChua?
“Don’t you want Tony Uy’s opinion? You might as well ask Dr. Heart to give you advice too. They know exactly what to tell someone like you in situations like this. Yes, they are good…damn good!
“I know bad habits are difficult to break, Mr. Cabangon Chua, so don’t let me stop you…we are looking at a good start here. And, don’t worry about the Judas 9, they will remain your friends…forever!
* * * * *
“So do you and Mayor Belen have a deal? Great! Congratulations!
“What? You want to sue me again for reminding you about Tony Uy and Dr. Heart in your life?
“What a dog life!”
* * * * *
DIVE. DIVE! Don’t look now but Dagupan may yet become a diver’s paradise in two years!
The successful installation of Payao off Pugaro and possibly in more areas in the city will make that a reality.
Include the network of local divers led by Councilors Joey Tamayo and Karlos Reyna and voila – you have a thriving tourism industry!
This trend should finally put an end to the happy days of fish pens in Dagupan!
Take a bow Mayor Belen!
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