Punchline
My deep secret
By Ermin Garcia Jr.
LET’S dwell on my deep secret for later. Meanwhile…
The province of Laguna is known to be one of the major hotbeds of jueteng. And to the credit of the provincial leadership, jueteng has come to a halt. “So what?” you say! What indeed could be significant about that since Guv Spines has already done pretty much the same thing here. Jueteng operators have scurried to more hospitable provinces since the governor articulated his stand – No jueteng in Pangasinan! (Thanks to Archbishop Oscar Cruz for creating the opportunity for the good governor to confront the issue squarely).
So what else could be remarkable about that province?
Read this. While members of our sannggunian panlalawigan had to convene a special session just to adopt a resolution endorsing the operation of Small Town Lottery (STL) in the province ostensibly to provide employment for the displaced kubradores and cabos and everyone who supported the illegal jueteng, Laguna’s board members saw things differently. They said it was time that people are taught the values of honest and legitimate hard work now that their illegal activities have been stopped. Yes, believe it or not, nobody even thought of suggesting that more STL franchises be operated in the province.
Laguna’s board members passed a resolution authorizing the provincial government to negotiate with TESDA and sponsor regular livelihood training seminars exclusively for the kubradores /cabos who have been and will be arrested by the police. I am told a provision was inserted to allow kubradores who have had not records of arrest but are willing to turn a new leaf to enroll in these free seminars.
That’s what I call creative and relevant legislation. Gee, why can’t our board members learn to finally start thinking out-of-the-box like others do? But probably they have but it’s just that there’s the practical sentiment that there’s more in it for them by staying inside the box, i.e, rushing to have another “legal” gambling take roots in the province.
Kababaing!
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CRIMINAL CRONYISM. The news report about the ongoing illegal reclamation along the Calmay River in Dagupan City couldn’t have come at a better time than last week.
Flooding again hit various parts of the city. Fortunately for the city, the efficient response of the city’s Disaster Risk and Management center helped minimize the damages in the city. But as everyone was watching at the rampaging flood waters go by, most did not realize that the overflowing of waters in our rivers is not caused by siltation or clogged drainage from upstream or excess water alone. The force of the flow of water is also influenced by narrow channels where rivers flow.
The city is clearly suffering today from the effects of the series of illegal reclamation tolerated by past administrations over the decades, compounded today by the illegal fish pens that heavily polluted and silted the bottom of our rivers. We see them today along Pantal River, Dawel River and now Calmay River. One does not have to be a rocket scientist to understand how the natural law of gravity works when a large quantity of water flows on a narrow channel. The natural result is an overflow and rampaging water.
So as the city attempts to cope with disaster risk management, the Lim administration today is not helping the situation any by closing its eyes to the illegal reclamation now going on at the Calmay River, refusing to enforce the law and throw the book at the Mangaldan-based company that’s clearly increasing the risks for Dagupenos, not for residents of Mangaldan.
Mayor Benjie Lim’s lackadaisical view and indifferent attitude towards the illegal reclamation by his friends in the 888 Dagupan Properties Inc. is disgusting at the very least. I see criminal cronyism rearing its ugly head in the city.
Am praying Rep. Gina de Venecia and hopefully soon, Councilor Alvin Coquia as head of the environment committee in the sanggunian, will begin to initiate moves to stop that illegal reclamation before it’s too late for the city. The eventual arrest of the officers of 888 Dagupan Properties will send a clear signal to all parties with plans to illegally reclaim parts of the city’s river tributaries that “Enough is enough”.
In my book, Mr. Lim today is courting a case before the ombudsman for dereliction of duty if he allows the illegal proclamation to proceed any further.
* * * * *
MY DEEP SECRET. I was told that the “lecture” of Dr. Raul Sabado about gout and arthritis before the local media last week was indeed most interesting. I would have loved to be there knowing how animated and witty Dr. Raul is.
If I were there, he didn’t have to look far and wide from among his audience for a gout victim as his specimen. I would have stood up and said: I am Ermin Garcia Jr., and I have gout.” That’s how it’s done in anonymous support groups for alcoholics, addict chain-smokers, compulsive shoppers, etc. , isn’t it?
Not that I am ecstatic about having gout (gads, did I suffer the first time my left big toe took a hit) but I would have been elated to share my deep secret about my nasty gout. But that’s getting ahead of my life’s journey with gout. First of all, I would have added to Dr. Raul’s theory of gout relativity that not only beer drinkers face the risk of developing gout, but non-beer drinkers too, like myself. Truth is, I was never and still, not much of a beer drinker, not whiskey or rhum, nor gin and vodka. Fact was, I always felt embarrassed about this handicap every time I, as a bachelor then, dated a girl who I later find out to be most comfortable drinking 5 bottles of beer, or 4 glasses of gin without batting an eyelash. My dates, of course, always found out too late I was always only good for all for the peanuts on the table and one bottle or one glass; anything beyond that quota, I’d already be sleepy-eyed and feeling smashed. (I survived the hundreds of formal cocktails in my life by pretending to be heavy on gin or vodka with my bottomless glass of 7-Up!)
But that’s exactly how I believe I started my journey to that dreadful G (not Garcia, please). I enjoyed the company of fun-drinkers, not the drunks, because I always had my fill of the pulutan on the table! I matched everyone’s (including my date’s) gulp with one big bite. So I think, Dr. Raul missed out on that theory. One doesn’t have to be a beer-drinker to marry the ugly G for life, that’s for sure.
That brings me to my secret. It’s about winning my daily battle with the horrible G. I have been drinking 3 glasses a day of the lowly Tanglad (as hot tea or cold juice, doesn’t matter)! For the sosi crowd, that’s lemon grass or citronella for you. And voila! I haven’t had to limp or fall over a vicious G attack ever since! (I was taught that little secret by our associate ed Marifi’s father who has been winning his battle vs. the freaky G).
So yes, the nicer G (that’s Garcia for you, of course!) in me never left me since… since I met and started a beautiful affair with my beautiful and lovely T. Today, I am able to join my fun-drinking friends, laughing with them as I feast on their pulutan but this time in moderation: one bite for their every 5 gulps!
As Dr. Raul said: Learn to moderate your greed. (I honestly thought that phrase only applied to someone we once knew as GMA. How wrong I was).
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