Pacquiao saves me from hell

By Al S. Mendoza

IN my May 3 column, I said Manny Pacquiao would win in 3, if not 7.

Thank God, Pacquiao knocked out Ricky Hatton in the second round for the Pacman’s 37th KO win and 49th overall in 54 fights.

Otherwise, I’d be in trouble. Hell.

I also said, “I’ll go to church naked from the waist down if.”

God loves me, indeed.

How did Pacquiao do it?

Well, ironically, Hatton was of big help in the clash that was over in a flash.

By abandoning the basic moves of the cha-cha-cha dance, Hatton paid dearly for his missteps.

Against Pacquiao, you must know how to back pedal after a forward movement-as in the cha-cha-cha.

Get the drift?

I don’t believe the stats saying Pacquiao connected with 78 punches.

I counted only four-unless I was watching another fight.

First was the right hook to the face that floored Hatton in the first round.

Second was a 1-2 combination that sent Hatton down again in the same round, barely beating the bell.

In the ill-fated second, Hatton received one shot – a left cross, I must say, as a southpaw like Pacquiao has only a right hook but not a left hook.

In boxing, you can’t have hooks on both hands; only the ambidextrous or a switch-hitter has.

A right-hander has a left hook but not a right hook- only a right straight, a right jab, or a right cross.

Or has Bob Arum also become the Mr. Webster of the sweet science that he has rewritten the boxing dictionary?

Anyway, the shot that shut up not only Floyd Mayweather Sr. but Hatton as well was a left cross to the jaw.

It was so perfectly delivered DHL and FeDex are now grappling for the right to buy copyrights to it.

Indeed, Pacquiao had made it looked so easy that Hatton’s record of 45-1 before the carnage had suddenly become suspect.

Did Hatton really collect that many a win?

Oh, wait a second, please. Let me rephrase that, lest I be accused of libel.

Did Hatton fight classy fighters near the zone where Pacquiao is in assembling that 45-1 mark?

With Hatton’s most humiliating defeat in 14 years, I doubt that very much.

Aha, just two losses for Hatton in 47 fights, eh? But both were by knockout.

The first, against Floyd Mayweather in 2007, came in the 10th.

The second, against Pacquiao in 2009, came in Round 2.

If you haven’t gotten the drift by now, I quit.

Excuse me, but I need to go to church-with my pants on, of course.

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