By Virginia Jasmin Pasalo

 

 PABLO Neruda in his poem “If you forget me” gave two choices to his lover: to forget him or show her commitment to him, issuing an ultimatum, an open threat: If you forget me, I will go, “I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land.”

“Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already forgotten you.”

For most women (especially wives), they endure being forgotten, accumulating experiences of being ignored, accepting domestic abuse as a norm, “for the sake of the children” and in obedience to “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”, a reply intended for the Pharisees who asked Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” The answer pertains to husbands. Is it lawful for the wife to seek divorce? The wife’s voice was absent, she never asked, she was never asked. It was out of the question to question.

Now, the question is no longer a question to ask others, but women themselves. Women can’t make biblical excuses for fucked-up relationships and say that God put “that” together.

Get lost! (Written 04 January 2025)

You have forgotten to greet me
on Christmas Day
on New Year’s Day
on my birthday,
on our wedding anniversary, for Christ’s sake!
Soooo . . . .
Today, I will gather everything
that reminds me of you,
gifts from before, letters from before,
including that tissue paper where
you drew a bleeding heart, everything!

I will delete your face
that naughty smirk
that body you keep on working out
but protruding like a stillborn pregnancy
I will erase the shape of your legs
and remember them walking
like a parenthesis devoid of explanation
or afterthought

Yes, you will be buried
among the pantheon of the lost
there will be no white lilies
on your grave!

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