By Virginia Jasmin Pasalo

 

I came across a post today complaining that most people on Facebook (FB) refuse to engage in a conversation on Messenger, even when they are “Friends”. I find it curious because I have the impression that most young people find relationships and share intimacies this way. Some are lucky to find some true friends, but others end up experiencing emotional trauma, and worse scams.

But, I sympathize with the one complaining, because I find myself hesitant to answer in Messenger for several reasons. One, there are so many fake accounts today that you can never know for sure who you are conversing with, even if the profile shows a familiar photo, or he sounds like an old friend. The danger escalates when you hardly know anything about a “Friend” on FB, to whom you have been “friends” for a long time, but know very little about the person.

Social media has increasingly become a place for robbers, a place to prey on the vulnerable, especially if you’re not familiar with the digital world. Some of my friends had been hacked several times, and as a response, created an alternative account each time that they ended up having three to five accounts on FB. According to them, it is more difficult to retrieve an account using the normal process than to create a new one. The practice of creating new accounts presents another problem as the older accounts which are mostly dormant are easily hacked by “techies” who use them to swindle unsuspecting, non-techies.

Another reason for avoiding Messenger is the fact that some “Friends” use them to develop conversation that often lead to misunderstanding, especially when interpreted in the context of their own culture and experience. I have encountered men and women who tend to disregard personal context and cultural differences in the engagement, short of imposing specific beliefs and cultural norms.

Lamenting, too, FB intensifying its data-gathering dragnet by monetizing, in the form of reels, stars and other apps that entices you to create engaging content, even when untrue. An example of this is the planting of a banana fruit on soil, resulting into a banana plant in a week’s time, gathering thousands of “Likes” and admiration from the gullible, and stars too, thereby earning money from untruth. This kind of incentive  on FB Meta redirects genuine human sharing to creating content that entertains, instead of understanding. It is a strategy that leads to everyone believing the unbelievable, entertaining a possibility where none exists, and relegating all analysis to artificial intelligence (AI) whose control rests in the moneyed and the powerful, reducing the rest to unquestioning followers and consumers. It is a perfect model for idiotization.

But, other human beings, realizing this unmistakable descent to dehumanization have engaged in trying to create real communities (not virtual) where real friendships are sustained. It has been found out that in the five Blue Zone areas where people live to be centenarians with the least sign of dementia and heart disease, a supportive, interactive community is one of the critical elements of longevity. In these communities, caring for one another is key. They are actively engaged in the wellbeing of their friends and family, creating meaning, balance and harmony in their lives, and knowing and acting on their reason for being (Ikigai).

In addition, Blue Zone communities plant and consume their own produce, and are less enticed to buying commercial food and health products in markets where sources are unknown and hyped online. They do not spend so much time making Friends and sending Likes to posts they have not read. They do not have to click “I’m not a robot” to be recognized as human. Lastly, unlike virtual friends, it is not as easy to Unfriend or Block friends you have shared experiences with, for years.

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