By Rex Catubig

 

IT started at the onset of the osteoarthritis on my right leg. I’ve been advised to avoid certain food. But I was stubborn and in denial. After all, I still have the other good leg. So my food demons waved aside caution to the wind, and let me take a cavalier attitude towards my diet.

But when that other leg suddenly felt the scorn of sciatica, I was forced down on my knees to honor the food pyramid, cast off my best loved delish devilish food and make peace with the revered but despised ones.

This hurt my enlarged epicurean heart more than the degenerative malady has hurt my nerve screwed buttock and leg.

I just bought queso de bola, cashew nuts, and fruit cakes. And my brother in the States just sent me two big jars of dark roast coffee. Who’s going to drink that coffee now before it goes stale?

And what about the tiger shrimps that I was saving for the yuletide table?

And the ham, and pork tocino, marinated liempo, and Binalonan longganisa that I have hoarded and filled my freezer?

Really, hell hath no fury like an aging body on a sick rampage.

It’s a cautionary tale disregarded once too often. And it’s too late in the day to learn my lesson and relearn how to eat right and temper my gustatory delight.

Of course, I’d probably outlived all this the way I have happily reversed all my heartbreak.

Oh, I would readily drink to that except I was advised to be faithful to green tea laced with turmeric.

That begs again the question, who will drink the reds, whites, and Champagne this season?

While my fantasy with Santa has long expired along with some traditional morality, I half expect Santa would gift me with release papers for my ailment from all the senior-loving saints in heaven.

I’d probably hang my leg support stockings now. And do my best effort not to be naughty but nice.

P.S. After all this food scare, I received a message from a dear friend who is all too familiar with sciatica as she has handled these cases. She assured me there is no dietary restriction for my ailment and I could go ahead enjoy my morning coffee and all my hoarded stuff.

I’m taking it easy for now but I guess I will not deny myself during the two weeks of the holidays.

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