Experiencing God

By Gonzalo Duque

BELOW is a paper written by my daughter, Ma. Florinda Princess E. Duque, l8, Pebbles— for short, as her assignment in Theology Class as a freshman in Mass Com at Miriam College. I am taking the liberty to reprint it here, with very minimal editing to share with you, dear readers, and a slice of time agonizingly spent by her and by the family. The article is all heart and soul from a very tender and young lady. This may as well be my contribution to the country’s observance of Lent.

 

“I was able to experience God’s presence when my parents decided to include me in a weight management program.”

 

Last year, I was thinking of having a big celebration for my l8th birthday . . .  but cancelled it after consulting with my parents and our family doctor, who advised me to undergo soonest a weight reduction program . . .  to prevent me from having disease like diabetes and high blood pressure.

 

 My parents prioritized my health, and it was a correct decision. I must confess that the thought of undergoing surgery filled me with fear and great reluctance. But it had to be done, and I know that my parents asked God’s guidance, and so the decision was made.

 

‘Why should I do this to myself?,’ I thought, full of fear all the time. I would cry day and night and began to have many doubts about my family. I thought they were being judgmental maybe because I was not physically fit, and the only girl in the family. I even thought they didn’t love me for allowing me to experience so much pain by going under surgery. I felt that my heart was being forced for the sake of my family.

 

After the operation, I thought everything was going to be fine and okay.  But it was hard for me to recover. The pain! I cried and cried, day and night. I should have not agreed to the surgery, I thought, and I even stopped schooling for almost a year. Everyday, I went to the doctor to clean my wounds, and feared the surgical instruments, syringes and other materials being inserted to my body. I was always crying and sometimes screaming everyday, very sad and miserable; there was a point when I wanted to die than experience pain. I felt isolated, as I was not allowed to be with my friends. I could not understand, and I thought even my friends  didn’t care about me,  felt  dark inside, a feeling  of  emptiness had taken over me.  I was always in my room hiding inside my blanket, alone. 

 

I decided to pray while crying, asking God to bring back my joys and happiness, asked Him to make me strong. I felt that it was not right to hate anyone, prayed all my grudges to go away and asked God to guide me and give me wisdom as I felt totally hopeless. Every night I prayed for a miracle.

 

Suddenly one night, I heard my dad talking to me while I was half asleep. He said he was sorry for allowing me to suffer and promised to make me happy and jolly like I used to be. I cried and said I love him so much. I thought he didn’t care.

 

My family showered me with extra care and attention, my mom coming home early and spending so much time with me and keeping me company. Then my friends started calling me, said they missed me so much. I cried when I heard their sweet and touching words. My family and friends were very supportive.

 

Gradually, everything started to fall in place again, and I  thanked God for all that was happening, He gave me hope again, made me realize that I not alone, and even if I didn’t say it verbally, somehow someone  I know was listening, and that’s Him.

 

Now I’m feeling fine and living a nice and normal life. I’m back to school, and I consider what I have been through as the best experience in my life.

 

 Everything was healed. I would never ever forget it because it made me stronger. It served me a good lesson, that whenever I fall and feel hopeless, I should turn to the best listener, God.

 

Maybe He was just testing me, my faith in Him. I have experienced pain physically and emotionally, and yet am proud to say that I am still standing.

 

Thanks to God’s revelations to me. I feel stronger and happier now.

 

GTD:  Pebbles received 98 percent for her article with this comment from her teacher: “Yes, this is the moment to really thank God that you were able to bravely face your struggles. Family and friends are God’s manifestations of His love. Thank you for sharing.”

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