By Farah G. Decano

 

THE personal tragedy of 2024 Olympian Carlos Yulo touches our core as human beings and our culture as Filipinos.  We tend to weigh on these issues based on the totality of our experiences.  Arriving at a resolution may be tricky if we do not detach ourselves from our own biases and trauma.  It does not help that those who take extreme opinions use this Carlos Yulo saga as a substitute battle against their respective mothers, mothers-in-law, children and children-in-law.

Thanks to this issue anyway. The mature young and old will realize that they will need to rethink their value system and explore new approaches in bridging the generational gap.  The juvenile-minded, who lack comprehension of their surroundings, will likely remain stuck in their animosity against those who have a contrary belief.

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The ongoing generational conflict regarding the Carlos Yulo’s family dispute is replete with accusations that smacks of ageism.   Some of the tech-savvy young citizens insult anyone who defend Carlos’ mother as gurang, tanders, and ancient. The latter, however, reply that these youths have not lived long enough to gain sufficient wisdom.   

 Let us examine some issues raised in this conflict.

 Carlos Yulo’s public conduct towards his mother was hailed as a sign of authenticity by the Generation Zs, also known as the digital natives.   They define authenticity as the correspondence of online and offline behavior.  If this is their definition of authentic, then it is not far different from Generation X’s “get real” or “ito ang gusto ko.”  

 Getting real for the people born between 1965 to 1985 simply means self-congruence and alignment of one’s feelings, thoughts and desires with the actions and presentations.  Like the GenZs, they also assert individual preferences that are free from outside influences.    

If the basic meaning of authenticity is the same between GenXs and GenZs, then where is this perceived generational conflict coming from as regards the family issue of Carlos Yulo? 

 My guess is that authenticity for GenZs is among those on top of their list of values while GenXs have other considerations.

 Some GenZ peeps perceive Carlos Yulo’s taking on his mom via social media as his authentic self. He uploaded on social media a video of himself along with his girlfriend and confirmed that his mother took his money without permission.

  Some GenXs disagree with what Carlos did. They believe that family skirmishes or even interior wranglings need not be known to the public in the name of being true to oneself.  GenXs believe that there are values that should be preferred over the need to get real. 

The GenZs then claim that Carlos has the right to reply to his mom who was first to air her sentiments on social media. The GenXs maintain the importance of projecting a respectful behavior towards the mother and emphasize the necessity to keep these things private regardless of who was first.

 Aside from authenticity, the youth nowadays put so much value to mental health and boundaries. As to how much pushing or encouragement is enough without compromising mental health requires a healthy discussion between the parents and their children. The same goes for boundaries.

The ability to calmly take on issues and resolve them wisely is maturity. This is not determined by  the number of years one has lived,  or one’s exposure to modern ideas. 

 If it’s not too late, families could still bridge this gap by having frequent dialogues in an atmosphere of love and respect.  This way, families will be updated about the existing pressures that were absent in the yesteryears.  Perhaps, we should start prioritizing family dinner again.

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