By Farah G. Decano

 

2024 is around the corner. How do we prepare ourselves for the coming of the new year?

What better way to start the turn of the calendar than to unload ourselves of those that burden our psyche and our soul?

Has anyone offended us this year or in the past? The consequent anger and misery we feel after having been wronged are not pleasant emotions.    They weigh down on our disposition and darken our aura.  More willpower and energy are needed for us to go about our ordinary duties when these hurt feelings remain unresolved.

There are two ways to discharge ourselves of this affliction: retaliation or forgiveness.  While revenge, they say, is sweet, it is only so in the beginning.  Later, vendetta will leave a very bitter taste in the mouth. The eliminated anger will soon be replaced by another albatross in our consciousness – guilt and fear.

As God-fearing individuals, we are expected to rid of our spirit’s cobwebs by forgiving our offenders.   But really, how must we pardon others?  Is there a step-by-step manual for exonerating someone of his or her wrongdoings?  Is it enough to state to oneself that we have forgiven someone? But why do we still squirm at the very sight of the person who transgressed us? Will repeating the lines, “I forgive you” seventy times seven do the trick? But why do we still remember the sin as if it has just been committed despite our repetitively chanting the absolution?

Generally, the Holy Bible only talks about forgiveness in two areas:  that, we must forgive as God has forgiven us; and that, we must do so as often as we have been forgiven. Nothing is stated about how we deal with our psyche in order to unburden ourselves of this pain and discomfort.

Surprisingly, some individuals have no difficulty in absolving others. I have seen very temperamental, passionate, and intelligent individuals who easily forgave those who have wronged them and moved on as if nothing ever happened.  There are others, however, of the same qualities, who struggle in giving clemency despite their sincere intentions and continuing efforts.

Someone told me that those who find being merciful problematic and challenging must pray for grace.  I did not appreciate the idea of “grace” and “asking for grace” until recently.

I found out that not all caregiving children of similar situation see their elderly parents the same way I do –  as children with adult issues.  Some friends complain about their very senior parents as heavy loads that befell on their laps. Instead of commiserating with them, I point out to them how child-like their old folks have become. Unfortunateley, not all could appreciate their aging parents the way I do to my nonagenarian mother.   Since I perceive my mama like a bratty cute kiddo, it makes the performance of my daughterly duties easier and fun.   I cannot help but conclude that I am assisted by grace.

Grace refers to the supernatural assistance bestowed by God to his people whether deserving or not. I will not delve much into the technicalities of grace but when we pay close attention to the meanderings of our psyche and the external world, we would appreciate how grace works in our lives.

Going back to the earlier question, how must we prepare for our new year?  We get down on our knees, acknowledge our limitations, and ask for grace in all our actions and in every situation, the cleansing of our souls from the burden of anger, misery and guilt, included.#

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