By Farah G. Decano

 

IF given the chance to go back in time, what would you tell your younger self? Let’s say, your 11-year-old self?

Most of those who undergo exercises like this presume that they are wiser, more mature and much better off than the earlier versions of themselves. So they say, “I will advise myself to study harder,” or “I will tell myself that things will be okay,” or “I will tell myself to keep it easy,” or “I would tell myself to stay focused.”

What is it with being eleven?

It is not really a random number. At 11, we are supposed to be four years more mature than seven-year-olds, given that seven is the commencement of the age of reason. At this age, we had started to discover that there is a bigger world out there. We also had a hint about adulthood and its harsh realities. Yet, at this age, we still believed that good always triumphed over evil and we made certain that our choices were in accordance with that idea. This was the age when we firmed up our dreams and ideals despite our glimpse of the heartlessness, deceit, greed, and stupidity of others.

When we look back at our 11-year-old selves, let us not advice, comfort, or correct them. All these will be useless. When we meditate on our younger persons, we cannot anymore undo what was already done. We cannot repair our past with our good wishes now. Not many are aware that when we engage in these thoughts, we are actually talking to our present selves with the intention of re-directing our future.

When we confront ourselves as 11-year-olds, would they be happy to see us on track and close to achieving their aspirations? Or would they be frustrated that we are the poor versions of the individuals they have envisioned themselves in the future?

Given this kind of reflective activity, a few find themselves still on the path of their ideals. Some, sadly, are no longer on course because of the many erroneous choices they have made in in their careers, in life in general, and even in love. Some may regret their unwise selection of mates. There are those who blame their indolence, their unbridled passion, their low self-worth, and many more.

If your imagined younger self is disappointed about how you lived your life, don’t fret. There should still be time to put yourself on track again. As they say, while there is life, there is hope.

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This meditative exercise made me remember my conversation with a lawyer.

Some years ago, a rich client proposed bribery of some officials in a government agency to guarantee their desired results. The lawyer refused. She adamantly maintained that she could not be someone else’s paid mouthpiece or be a paid agent of corruption. Yes, she risked losing possible income from the wealthy client but she stood her ground. There have been many occasions like this in the past, and she was proud and did not yield to crooked ways for money.

I asked her where she got the strength to refuse. “Two layers of defense,” she declared. “I surrounded myself with ethical persons and I made sure I was economically secure.” To keep her beyond the reach of such illicit enticements, she said she had to maintain these two requirements any time. All the time.

Lawyers who have a tendency to break the law in the practice of their profession, must always remember that lawyering is an honorable profession. When the lures of instant wealth, revenge, or any evil thoughts are present, one can ask his or her younger self. The answer should be effortless for an 11-year-old.

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