By Farah G. Decano

 

“KUNG makakalibre, magpapalibre.” 

“Kung makakalamang, manlalamang.”

Starting from my early years in the profession, I had noticed lumpenproletariat behavior of some Filipinos even amongst the so-called wealthy members of society.

Decades ago, I was brought along by my parents, who came with other delegates from the Philippines, to attend an international civil club event in Singapore.  When the group members were charged $80 Singaporean dollars for the land transportation from the airport to the hotel, or approximately $5.33 each passenger, no one could come up with the exact change for the fare.  One Japanese member who was with the Filipino delegation, because he was near the driver, had to foot the bill for the group.

I overheard two wealthy members talking to themselves, “Nanlibre la amo, sikato.”  The other replied, “No agto tayo singilen, mas maong.”  And both chuckled.

My father overheard their conversation and he told my mom, “[L]et us pay the Japanese.  We must show him that some Filipino members have class.”  When we finally got to exchange our dollar bills with local currency, we reimbursed the good guy.  The Japanese gladly accepted our payment indicating that he was of the expectation that he would be reimbursed later.

The Japanese man and the two freeloaders sported gray suits and ties. But the latter two behaved like parasitic scums.  Ah, the clothes do not make the man, indeed.

From then on, it dawned on me that paying is not only confined to hurting your own pocket.  It is also being respectful of other people’s properties.  Paying your obligation on time also manifests how you perceive yourself – just.

Obviously, wealth does not buy class.  Several years ago, while my family was having breakfast in Manila, someone who looked familiar suddenly invited himself and joined us at our table and ordered food.  My parents knew him, of course.  We enjoyed having him with us as we discussed current events.  But, before we got our bill from the waiter, he left.  He did not even offer to pay for his order!  And he was among the very filthy rich ones in Luzon.  As in, filthy rich.

May datung nga, pero walang dating.

Back in UP Diliman, whenever I went out with friends and enjoyed pizza somewhere, no matter who invited, it was always understood that the mode of payment was Dutch treat.  After all, they were get-togethers among equals.  No one was a subordinate.  We were grateful that we were not DSWD cases who deserved freebies.  That was why I was surprised to learn upon my return to Dagupan that the tab gets picked up by the person who took the initiative of inviting others to information get-togethers.  For that reason, and because I was on a newbie lawyer’s budget, I slowed down on my invitations for gimiks.

The clause, “Pa-burger naman dyan” or “Blow-out,” can sometimes be irritating especially if these feelers come from individuals who did not earn such entitlement.  For example, I will not hesitate to give-in to my staffs’ insinuations whenever my law office won cases.  However, I find it in bad taste for someone to expect treats when there is no occasion to celebrate or when he or she did not even contribute to the effort that brought the happy occasion. The nerve…

It is unfortunate that not all people see pride in paying for one’s own. Being the subject of one’s generosity is fine once in a while. But being the constant recipient or seeker of freebies in kind and/or service (medical, legal, technological, and the like) reflects the person’s disposition, self-worth and tendency to abuse.

Be generous to yourself.  Pay for the sake of your self-worth.

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