Being offensive
By Farah G. Decano
“ARE you sure you want to post that on your FB status?”
A concerned friend messaged me. She was uneasy that I might be referring to a wealthy and powerful woman who is known in the legal community. My friend read my post commenting against illegally funded women who are already gainfully employed. In my status, I added further that I see depravity in these women and that I have more respect for the laundry woman who makes ends meet.
My FB status was actually in support to an attached meme of a woman powerfully and luxuriously clad that says she is not funded. She funded herself. I ended my FB post with the following hashtags: #FamilyFirst and #NoToAffairsForFunding.
“You might be offending (name withheld).”
Of course, I had no one in mind when I decided to click “post.” Because I do not doubt the sincere apprehension of a good friend, I considered her point of view. Automatically, I ran down the elements of libel in my mind and found my post as a mere general expression of my opinion without an identifiable subject.
I also subjected my post to any possible anathema woman’s rights advocacy sentiments. I asked myself, “As a woman, am I being offensive to fellow women?” My answer is in the negative. My post reflects my strong belief that the woman can be who she wants on her own merits. She need not have the appearances of wealth and power, regardless of the manner of their acquisition, in order to buy respect. It promotes the opinion that these luxuries do not necessarily mean a perception of decency from people especially when the public know how they are being “funded.”
“Anggano mandildil tayo na asin,” constantly says my mom to us, “never ever sell your soul.” She also hammered into our young minds that we should not entertain any envy if we saw our playmates having more luxuries in life. “Man-aral ka labat ya maong tan agka manggagawa ya kaugesan.”
Our mother taught us that being in a state of inadequacy must not necessarily trigger desperation. It must trigger hard work, education, and constant discipline of the senses. My mom raised us in poverty sometimes to the point of ridiculousness. But whenever I look back on her frugality, I am awed by her resolve and her resourcefulness.
Let me go back to critiquing my own my post. If I were not being anti-woman, then I asked myself, why did I make use of an attached meme that has an image of a woman on it?
That I reacted to a meme of a woman did not automatically mean my post referred only to women. This gives us the false dichotomy that when one refers to women, then men are excluded. I can be referring to both, or all members of the rainbow colors.
I have to admit though that the use of a woman as a meme in the campaign against materialism reinforces the stereotype image that women are materialistic and power-hungry. I have to insist, however, that in my post, it was also clear that there are women who are not. And that the latter is admirable.
We are so conscious nowadays about being politically correct. There is nothing wrong with being critical of members of the same sector. I encourage women to be critical of fellow women. Through this, we correct our own. I have long ago expressed that the LGBT should also police its ranks. We observe toxic masculinity in some butches who think they are God’s gift to women and some gays who objectify men and reduce them to only their penises.
Political correctness, sometimes, curbs frank expression of sentiments. Being politically correct as regards vulnerable sectors, or those who need protection, is necessary. But for society to grow up, we must be bold to offend within the bounds of legality, decency and appropriateness, of course.
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