By Farah G. Decano

 

FEMININE traits are considered weak, subservient and uncertain most of the time while masculine qualities are deemed strong, courageous and resolute.

What are these usual manly traits reckoned to be manifestations of fearlessness?  Courage in accordance with the stereotypical masculine standard is aggression, confrontation and display of brute force. Hence, we imagine brawny saviors of damsels in distress, generals leading a battalion during wars, and martyrs who faced their death sentences.

So, when a woman in heels recently appeared on stage to confront her contenders for the highest post in our country, some in the audience got baffled.   With her hair held-up in a bun, her face elegantly made-up, her ears embellished with a pair of pretty jewelry, Vice President Leni Robredo, in her glorious pink skirt suit, brazenly flaunted her femininity before the scrutinizing eyes of the public as she competed for what seems to many as a man’s job.

“Fight like a man,” we hear this often.

“Grow some balls,” some would even say to mean “have some courage” as if having those delicate hanging organs in between the legs were the toughest parts of a man.  On the contrary, they are the weakest parts.  In fact, women are taught to target the area when faced by a sexual harasser.   It makes me wonder how these soft balls symbolize bravery and strength.

What could be a better bodily part to signify audacity?  Try feeding a baby with your pair of breasts.  Nourishing the young with mammary glands is not a pleasant experience especially when the child begins to gnaw on the nipples. Mothers cringe in discomfort yet they do not hesitate to offer these body parts for suckling.  In the face of pain, mommies continue the heroic act of nurturing a child.  This is quiet strength.  This is calm courage.   Why don’t we say, instead, “grow some breasts” to mean bravery?

It is sad that some women commit the mistake of giving up their womanliness to assert their truth. They cut their hair short and hide their shapely figures.  They shout and curse gutter words like those of the raging male thugs on the streets.   In short, they mimic the masculine.

It is time we realized that there is virtue when one “fights like a woman.”   It takes a huge amount of tolerance and self-control to resist anger or violence.  To fight like a woman is to be serene and quick-thinking in overcoming the challenges while tending to other things as mundane as combing the hair of a little girl.   To fight like a woman is to avoid the lure of suddenly turning into a beast or a monster.  She may be open for negotiation but when possible settlement fails, the woman does not bang the table or dare her rival to a duel. She either raises her eyebrow, bats her eyelashes, folds her arms and then smiles.  In her mind, however, she has already concocted hundreds of battle scenarios to defeat her adversary.  All she has to do is to decide which strategy will best serve her purpose.   She compensates her seeming physical weakness in many other ways to defeat any opponent.

Personally, whenever I see VP Leni climb on the so-called “battle” stage to face other presidential candidates in a debate, I see my own mother who always shows up for our family in the most difficult times.  Her comforting presence is like a beacon that radiates strength for all her children, saying, “Despite my own discomfort and pain…come, I can take care of you.”

Fight like a woman.  Why not?

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