By Atty. Farah G. Decano

           

HEARD of toxic masculinity?

In celebration of the Pride Month, I will be discussing this abhorrent gender trait in the context of LGBT+ issues.

Nope. This is not a campaign for acceptance and tolerance. There are probably millions of articles written about this topic already.  This is more of a concern for the LGBT plus community so that this will be properly addressed.

Contrary to expectations, sameness of sex in a relationship does not guarantee respect for and protection of rights of the partner.  It is sad that there are some members of the LGBT+ who manifest, whether intentionally or not, toxic gender characteristics due to their lack of education, awareness and understanding. They simply do not comprehend that these noxious attributes are attitudes and behaviors which are harmful to themselves, to the partner and to society.

Toxic masculinity. This gender trait is not a monopoly of men. I have heard of women, especially some butches and transmen, who exhibit these detestable qualities by displaying nauseous arrogance, objectifying women, treating them as mere conquests, and manifesting violence, aggression and/or oppressive indifference.  I have seen on YouTube some butches and transmen behaving like chauvinist pigs similar to dirty old men ogling at sexily clad women. I have heard of stories of some narcissistic lesbians and transmen who love to bomb their prey and drop them the minute their female victims fall for them like an unforgiving gigolo.  I am actually more appalled by these females who do these hurtful things to fellow women.  I expect them to be more informed, appreciative, and considerate because of the sameness of physical make-up and similarity of societal pressures that women undergo.

On the other side of the rainbow, toxic femininity also exists among some men.  It is exhibited by some, not all, who happen to be gay or transwomen. According to freelance journalist, Kati Anthony, the toxic femininity refers to the “silent acceptance of violence and domination in order to survive.”  These homosexual men or transwomen behave like the typical submissive and martyred wives or girlfriends who would do anything for their partners even if doing so is detrimental to their well-being. They would endure any humiliation, suffering or even waste resources for their partners. A gay person once told me that he has to earn a lot of money because it is the only way he could be loved.  To the mind of those afflicted with this toxicity, submission to their male partners means acknowledgment of worth and receipt of more love, hence, they are subjected to abuse.

We are not against any cisgender men, cisgender women, gays, lesbians or transexuals. We are only against toxic gender traits.  Misinformation and lack of education of some lesbians, gays and transexuals lead them to adopt the toxicity that is attached to either masculinity and femininity. Much have been discussed about some cisgenders exhibiting these loathsome attributes.  It is time for the LGBT+ community to tackle this concern among its members to avoid abuses, discrimination and heartaches. The LGBT+ members need to cleanse the group from the toxicity of some established gender expressions.

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