The other half

By Virginia Jasmin Pasalo

IT is difficult for most to conceive happiness without a partner. Especially because we have been conditioned to think in terms of the “other half” and not as wholes getting together. To speak of the other half is not even correct because in reality there are a lot of parts, and not just the other half. The “other half” is not a half, there are “others”.

This is different when “wholes” get together. Wholes know they have many parts. Their happiness is not dependent on the “other” although they may be able to experience extreme happiness with them. When the “other” passes away, they grieve and spring back to the wellspring of their happiness that is inside of them, a spark that is always there, a blue light that continually burns. It is the same with single “wholes”.

When a person says “you complete me” it means they cannot become “whole” without you, which puts their entire “completion” in your hands. Once you enter a relationship to “complete” someone, withdrawal from it becomes problematic because he reverts into being “incomplete” and you become part of the problem, unless you become that someone for him. When you become the “someone” that completes another, your lives become one, indistinguishable from the individual lives that could have joined together as wholes, but have separate identities. It is the dullest existence I can think of, to be totally absorbed, incognito.

To be “someone” to somebody, in all the wholeness, not in its incomplete status because if we were created in the image of God, we were complete from the very beginning. We were whole beings, daring and creative, until maimed by organized religion, patriarchy and other institutions that benefits from the control of human behavior.

The acceptance of the wholeness in the other, or the evolving wholeness, is often difficult for most people who, through the insidious indoctrination of archetypes, have lived in accordance with the dominant paradigms of relationships.

In celebration of the complexity of human nature and its limitless capacity to love, Happy Valentine’s Day to all your parts! May they live in harmony with the elements and evolve into wholeness with time.

I heard you

did you just say you love me?
not in so many words
but in the touch of your lips
on my breast
and your gentle hands
exploring my skin
like an avid traveler
not knowing
where to begin
you speak to me
in tongues

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