Building trust

By Virginia J. Pasalo

TRUST is what we give to another being we have faith in. Therefore, before trust is given, faith has to be there. Faith is the confidence and the assurance in things we do not sense or fully comprehend, like the faith in the existence of heaven and the existence of God, or the fidelity of partners and friends.

Among lovers whose relationships have gone sour over broken promises and unfaithfulness, rebuilding the trust lost is a difficult task. The specter of a recurrence hovers in the consciousness, even if forgiveness is given, because the mind stores the “loss”, to guide itself in its present and future decision-making.

Among religions, it is more difficult as trust issues have deeper roots and go way back in history, and also because some sectors have successfully undermined trust-building initiatives and interfaith dialogues, for their own hegemonic and geo-political ends.

Among good friends caught in the middle of their socio-political backdrop, such as a Christian and a Muslim, a Duterte fanatic and a “yellow”, trust becomes volatile, but the quality of the friendship should be able to rebuild the trust and regain its original wholeness, over time.

Among family members, where trust is a given unless proven otherwise, trust is most difficult to rebuild. A good friend signed a document for the stewardship of their family’s land to a trusted brother, without even looking at the document, only to find out her share legally transferred to him. In this case, the loss of trust is often irreparable, and always results in unnecessary pain.

For those attempting to recover trust in themselves and in others, try to recover the faith when you first began on your life’s journey. Hold on to that moment, begin again.

 

Rings of smoke

we can try to be kinder to each other

we have to look at each other

past old garments

overcoming doubts

trusting

accepting

that any garment shed today

at this moment, drapes

with the freshness of dewdrops

even if the next moment

after this moment

by our own caprice

and volatility

like circles of smoke

will be blown away

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