Never believe anything that Duterte says

By Al S. Mendoza

 

 

 

Happy birthday to Malaya M. Sadiwa; July 9.)

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AND so, Leni Robredo is finally in.

Anyone doubting it would happen—that Robredo making it to President Duterte’s Cabinet was a no-no?

Not me.

Yes, he said he wouldn’t let Leni hold a Cabinet post because of Bongbong.

And letting Leni board the Duterte ship would hurt his friendship with Bongbong.

Sure, Mr. Duterte said that.

But that’s bull and believing in that is like believing Jesus Christ did not walk on water.

President Duterte was just joking.  But, of course.

One of his favorite pastimes is leg-pulling.

Did he not say, a lot of times, that he wouldn’t run for President?

Now that Mr. Duterte has appointed Robredo his housing czar, start reviewing your Du30 Lesson 101.

But you need not be an Einstein, or a rocket scientist, to know him well.

Start by treating every word he says as false.

When it turns out that what he says is the opposite, do not be surprised.

He loves the word reverse.

If he could only drive his pickup backwards, that’d be heavenly for him.

Didn’t he say he’d jet-ski to Panatag Shoal and plant the Philippine flag once we won our territorial claim of Panatag in the world arbitration body?

If you can believe that, you can also believe that Pope Francis isn’t a Roman Catholic.

Mostly, Mr. Duterte does things the unorthodox way.

“To know him more, you need to study exceedingly well what he says,” said RU Shredder owner Ramon Uy, my esteemed friend from Bacolod.  “In President Duterte, you need to read between the lines.”

Knowing Mr. Duterte is stretching your imagination beyond words he utters, beyond his body language.

Twice he invited to his Cabinet two persons who were merely paying him a visit.

Gibo Teodoro, the losing presidential bet in 2010, declined the Defense portfolio.

But Gina Lopez accepted the Environment position—to her eternal joy as she had been championing environmental concerns all this time.

After having Robredo as one-time visitor at Malacanang, Mr. Duterte would appoint the VP into his Cabinet.

Surprised?  Not me.  I’d like to believe I know Digong from Adam.

We’ve been drinking buddies in the not-so-distant past.

We did our thing then usually in the company of Ken Angeles, Boyet Lim, Bong Duterte, Manny Pinol and, yes, the most beloved Bong in the President’s life:  Bong Go.

The last time we shook hands during a party at the house of Benny “Billion Peso Man” Gopez, Digong wasn’t President Duterte yet.

He didn’t recognize me.  But, of course.

“I understand it fully well,” I told Benny.  “I was just a face in the sea of humanity.”

But Bong Go recognized me.

“Nice to see you again, Sir,” said Bong to me.  “Thank you for your help, as always.”

While Digong did his thing on stage, Bong and I sat side by side that night, chatting endlessly about the good, ol’ days.

I know Bong Go wants to see me again.

But, honestly, I am afraid of paying the President a visit.

He might appoint me as his butler, if not his tailor.

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