Old and Cold

By Emmanuelle

AT a particular point of that certain moment in time, a literary group to which this writer belonged, swore to high heavens, and to each other, we will never have cause to insert the words into any of our writings.

Though  apt and timely throughout the days and nights that made history of EDSA I, the words had been rubbed-in to hysterical exhaustion until they were declared dry and trite, overused, over-expanded, over-expounded, washed thin and washed-out, deserving of a burpy and windy exit at both ends. They were cliche, passe, and what can one say?

For lack of better saner choices other than gory blood-letting to seal our promise of non-use, we knocked three times on wood, crossed our fingers, and made a final chorus of peksman. No second thought to the deed.

On the other hand, as third thought, knowing how frail we humans can be at times, we decided to add-on a postscript.

If at a moment in time when words shall fail us, and considering the nature of our profession that would be at its rarest, we resurrect the dead words only when our heads are threatened with the dreaded writer’s block.

At this point in time, the words stand resurrected.

Kuya Gin of Saudi Arabia and Agnes of USA will surely ask: what words are we talking about here? Old and  cold? They both agreed, probably at a certain point in time, that this writer is most entertaining but regretfully can be as vague and as faint as music bellowing in the deep blue sea. Dear, there is no music. Only a roaring. And a clicking. Of oxygen running out.

Sabi nang . . . what words are we talking about here?

Not old and cold. At this point in time. At this moment in time. With modifiers particular, certain, momen-tuous, etc.

Were you floating around, one in spirit with this writer, when the first words of the  first paragraph clicked in? Let us rephrase then that para graph:

A literary group to which this writer belonged, swore to high heavens and to each other, they will never have cause to insert the words at a particular point of time or at a certain moment in time into any of their writings.

So, we begin. Again. 

At this certain moment in time in this country of more than a thousand islands, one need not be a senior citizen to feel old. Neither does one need to be on the highest peak of Mt. Apo or Sibuyan Mountains or the Cordilleras to feel cold.

One can be obviously young but feel just as old as a septuagenarian. One can be so uncomfortably warm and terribly sweaty and still feel so cold inside. What a chilly combination: old knowing eyes, icy spines, fingers frozen stiff, cold feet, a colder heart.

Feeling old is just that, feeling old with the cold of a forewarning of events horrendous.

It is one and all. Disappointment, disillusionment, frustration, regret for the failure, the letdown. Point to him, to her, to everyone, including the pointer’s pointed pointing around. Kasalanan mo, kasalanan niya, kasalanan nila o ninyo.

But never kasalanan  nating lahat.

A, ewan, basta ako, may pupuntahang kasalan. How can one sinning word claim its root from a union of hearts? 

To end abruptly, rewind to rewarn. The cold is a forewarning of events horrendous.

And having been warned and forewarned, does one tie one’s brows in knots, wrinkle the lips in sour grimace, wring hands? How does one convey best the length and breadth of one’s distress?

How can one stop onrushing time? Reach back to the past? Stretch yesterday to today? Swallow the present? Do away with the future? 

Sa loob ng isang iglap, one just grows old. And cold inside.

For lack of an answer at this point in time, this writer buries herself in her burrow, her sett of a nest. When everyone had regained their very best behavior, she might come out for air.

Until then, may all fare well. Better still, as best as one can. One canned worm.

(Readers may reach columnist at jingmil@yahoo.com. For past columns, click http://sundaypunch.prepys.com/archives/category/opinion/feelings/
For reactions to this column, click “Send MESSAGES, OPINIONS, COMMENTS” on default page.)

Share your Comments or Reactions

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments