Feelings
None so blind than one who will not see . . .
By Emmanuelle
Annie and Lenny were born February and December of the same year. They were first cousins, their mothers being sisters. They were neighbors as their parents built houses adjacent to each other. They were schoolmates from pre-school to college, taking up nursing long before the course became visa to the great US of A. They were also the best of friends.
They even looked the same. Annie was fairer of skin though, as she spent more time indoors. She was the more intellectual and the artist of the two. Lenny was the sports fiend, running after goals, jumping over hurdles. Annie took everything to heart while Lenny never seemed to show a serious vein. It was as if, without bothering to put words into a contract, the two agreed that what one is, the other is not. To avoid competition, to avoid any point of contention. Friends are beyond such trifles.
Compared they were, though. Annie was admired by many from a distance. Lenny was adored by the crowd.
When the two girls fell in love, it was with two swift arrows winging towards one gorgeous target. And Gorgy was the creature’s name. He, whose shoots were the best when farthest, but whose mind was as sharp as a knife. He, who was at home in both the separate worlds where each girl reigned supreme.
He was not only gorgeous. He was the quiet type. He burst out in todo-bigay laughter only with his basketball team or when with one or both girls.
In other words, to the two girls, he was delicious.
They became the best of three friends. Lenny couldn’t make Annie look up from her books, to run and jump and swim. Gorgy did. Annie couldn’t entice Lenny to finish reading a Robert Frost. Gorgy did.
No one was more surprised than Annie when she realized Lenny can be as academic. And no one was more surprised than Lenny when she saw Annie can be as physical. Gorgy smiled, and tugged each girl’s pony-tailed head.
They were together until after graduation, the board, NCLEX, 3-years of hospital. Even beyond Gorgy’s entry into medicine proper. Then they parted ways. Lenny left the country, surprisingly not to USA, but for the troubled spots of Asia, then Africa, then Middle East. Annie went on from post-graduate to train other nurses. Gorgy graduated and went on to become the most deliciously unreachable surgeon around.
They didn’t quarrel. Only a silence deafening with unanswered questions, unquestioned answers. And a short conversation never told:
Lenny: You have to tell us, Gorgy. It is unfair, to keep both of us guessing.
Gorgy: I am not keeping both of you guessing. Can’t you see? Can’t you hear? She shows me life. You make me alive. There never was a choice. It has always been… Lenny! Don’t go! Listen! Let me finish!
Lenny turned away. She ran out, and out of her best friends’ lives. His words were deafening shots to her ears. I can make him alive, but I can’t make him live life as she and only she have shown how.
It was as if she dropped down a hole in the ground. Lenny sent no letters, theirs kept returning unread. Lenny’s parents never got to catch-up with her changing workplaces. They all just received greetings, gifts or packages from one war-torn country to the next. Especially when United Nations became her permanent address.
When they were past thirty, Lenny came home for a two-hour visit. Just passing through, she said, from one tsunami disaster area to another.
Annie and Gorgy met her at the airport, with two beautiful pig-tailed girls in tow. Annie looked beautiful, and well-fed. Gorgy was a little bent but still gorgeous. And Lenny was Lenny, looking not a year older. Her eyes were deeper though, darker.
I missed you. We missed you. They didn’t have to expound. The words were felt. They were not blind. They were not deaf.
Silence. Motes of joy and sadness swirling around them.
Lenny smiles: Pretty kids. Parang . . .
Annie nods: Yes. Kamukha natin noon.
Older girl: I was named after Dad’s first love.
Younger girl: And I, after the best friend of his first love.
Lenny feels a twinge in her heart: Ah. You are Annie. (She kisses the older.) And you are Lenny. (She cups the younger’s face.)
The girls burst into giggles: No, Tita. The other way around!
Older girl: I am Lenlen!
Younger girl: And I am Ann-ann!
As Annie hugs Lenny, she whispers through her tears: Lenny, we tried to reach you. He was dying inside, and I had to save him. If you loved him, I loved him more. Or the other way around. But for Gorgy, it had always been you.
Gorgy hugs Lenny. He whispers to her ears: You couldn’t see. You were always running with the wind. The kids jump up and down: Yours were our favorite bedtime story! It’s the story of how we came to be a family!
This is a true story. Not from the Reader’s Digest, but from a Feeling’s reader.
(For past columns, click http://sundaypunch.prepys.com/archives/category/opinion/feelings/)
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