Cooling Off!

By Emmanuelle

Last week, we got heated up with Of curses, Of course!  This week, we cool it.

This column ran out of space for a more lengthy soliloquy, tongue-in cheek, on the fire-wallowers or those who would rather swallow the fire of their anger.  The fire-spitters, or those who spontaneously spit out their anger, got more mileage. Pardon po. Actually, not only did the column run out of space. This writer ran out.

It has been tried and proven right, that the best way to cool off hot-temper-boiling-over, is to ice it. In much the same way as assassins use the euphemism ice to mean kill, this writer uses ice to mean kill. Oh! Not that terrible person towering angrily before you! And definitely not yourself! Ice the feeling, meaning cool it!

You can handle being a fire-wallower if you were pre-medicated with beta-blockers or anti-anxiety prescriptions. It helps to keep a pack of ice handy in the freezer to rub all-over the head and neck, just in case the wallowing gets rougher than rough. The ice really steams-off the heat from the head! Or   take a long shower but turn off the heater. Dunk the whole body in the bathtub or if you’re still saving for such luxury, find the biggest batya or rust-free drum. Or take a swim. Or ice cream.

You may also choose to divert the anger. Sublimate it. Have you heard of the latest stress-relievers for yuppies? Also for the tyope, the pushed-aside and the pushover? For a fee, a restaurant somewhere offers stacks of plates to throw with gusto against the walls or the floors specifically designed NOT TO SOUND-PROOF or soften but to AMPLIFY the crashing sound a hundred-fold. This plate is for the boss. Crash! These plates are for the OTHER boss, the boss’ OTHER wife. Crash! Crash! Crash!

Less childish but as equally effective are the gyms with their punching bags, or the roped-posts for the martial arts. You get to be intensely physical with your hated opponent, but she can’t strike back. Lavinia is all-leather and wood. For fringe benefits, your muscles get toned and your biceps whistled at while you ready yourself for the real confrontation. If and when.

And there are these young entrepreneurs who hold regular firing days, weekends preferably. They deal away with unwelcome competition and enemies this way. They shoot them straight to the heart or cleanly between the eyes. The victims simply crumple to the ground. They usually do that when fired full of holes. In case you get the wrong idea, the victims are target papers, the International Practical Shooting Confederation (IPSC) target papers. 

There, too, is the story about a student, now on her medical internship. At the wee hours of dawn, when not on duty, she does her kata, combining it with the graceful but deadly wielding of knives, the Electra way. She is of the sweetest temper, and thus is a pushover for the bottom of the dog-eats-cat-eats-rat hierarchy in a state learning hospital. Her family, friends, and the hospital administrators who just happened to jog unto her ritual during a seminar in the boondocks – they knew better. True power IS when you choose NOT to wield it.                

Hitting knuckles or banging foreheads through mirrors or walls are outrageously passe. Not only hindi na uso. Madugo na, self-mutilating pa. You feel bad and api na nga, you will look ugly pa to the rest of the world bubbling full of cheers and sunny dispositions. Kainis.

Anyway, when the fire of anger is spat out, the anger is mostly spent. No more na. The devastation is more on the side of the recipient of the anger – ang napagbalingan o nakatanggap ng galit. And as discussed last week, you can either spat back or swallow the retort. Either you wage a full-pledged private war or peace shall reign on your little corner of earth.      

A tip for last words. Either you express or you impress. Who can forget the lady who, in such same dire situation as Sharon in the movie, dished out as calmly and as classy as you please: How dare you insinuate that I should tolerate such a diabolical impertinence from a minute structure of a human being such as you?

What says Lavinia? Speechless! 

(For past columns, click http://sundaypunch.prepys.com/archives/category/opinion/feelings/)

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