Do your Math

By Emmanuelle

Life is math itself; math is life itself. Life is defined or explained by mathematics; mathematics is defined or explained by life. This is the principle of scientific determinism, the predictability of life itself.

I know most of you would blanch white, blankity blank, black out, back off or simply flee in terror just at the mere mention of anything math. It is such a dreaded word; it is such a dreadful world! And you believe you had already puked your share of the nightmare of mathematics (arithmetic, algebra, geometry, trigonometry, physics, statistics, etc) to fill more than vatful of vomit.

Weird, but this phobia of numbers somehow attaches itself to genes! You must have inherited the fear from somewhere, or it must have rendered itself communicable sometime in your young life.  And the following persona and events would not have helped any to ease your circumstances: the arithmetic teacher with the inch-thick bifocals, with a witch’s mask for a face, with a stick to whip your dumb uncooperative fingers, with the sharpest of nails to pinch your even dumber ass, and the most cruel of insults to embarrass you to suicide’s door. Remember the white board, an exercise on the table of the four arithmetic operations, with the fifty or more squared holes you place over your paper? – you had to write the answers into those holes within a timed period, no erasures please, and suddenly you wished you had more than 10 fingers and 10 toes. And the clock that kept ticking closer and closer to Time Over! when you had just gotten over your mental block, and had just remembered to take a peep at the right equation from the codigo on the inside of your arm to solve the first problem in algebra, geometry, physics. Then, no matter how small you shrunk yourself overnight, you get called on to go to the board and illustrate how you arrived at your answer, and please don’t forget to label everything or else you get no credit.

You would rather write piles and piles of essays on the biography of the autobiography, the history of histrionics, the logic of the illogical, or the comma that sends you to comatose, or the period that refuses to end a sentence.

What I am getting to, really, is to prepare you for the topic of Feelings for this and next week -that whether you like it or not, math rules the world – that math is in all the processes (physical and all the things one could possibly enumerate) to make sure Man exists and survives and will continue to do so until earth is gone (disintegrates, blows up, melts, disappears, etc.) in one big mathematically probable improbability of a scenario.

At the end of the series, I promise to prove – that Math is Life; Life is Math – without you having to perform any manual computation. The computing will only be in your mind, and in your heart. You may then have the choice: to sum up the addends in your life, or to make do with the resulting difference from your minuends, or to gather the products of all the contributing factors, or to go on being patient with the quotient of your dividends.

This would be a breeze. I would be presenting instances, documented ones, from real life. I would be asking you questions regarding the possibility or impossibility of my computation. You would react based on your own computation. You would be welcome to agree or disagree. In the end, all of us would be enlightened. We would be so enlightened we would be so light the breeze can carry our weight with just a bit of a whiff. I told you, this would be a breeze.     

For example.  And this is a documented case, ha? You and your brother are the only heirs of your father. Then, a woman and her brother, of the same surname, comes out of the blue, and with the assistance of the most powerful private lawyer around, sue you and your brother as “impostors”, claiming themselves to be the real  heirs, and then proceed to transfer a lot of your properties (titled or tax declarations) to their names with the assistance of the same lawyer even months before they filed the case; some lots just days before and after they filed the case and without waiting for you to file an answer or the court to announce a date for a first hearing; and the biggest of the lots, even when the court has issued an order to maintain the status quo of all the inheritances in question. The transferred lots are now being brokered for sale by the woman and her brother.

You are 80, your brother is 86. The woman is 58, the brother is 55. They claim to be the children of the son of the real and only son (same first and family name as you) of your father and your mother (same first and family name as your father and your mother).    

So, let’s do the math. The woman and the brother claim that they are the great grandchildren of your father and your mother. If their grandfather were the real only son of your father and your mother, then that son must be years older than your father and your mother. If your father and mother have great grandchildren, definitely they would not be aged 58 and 55. 

Parents give birth to their children. The children do not give birth to their parents.

Do your math, woman and brother. Oh, and attorney.

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