General Admission


By Al S. Mendoza


THIS is my own State of Nothing Address (SONA).

Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon.

What’s for dinner?

Let Valentin Dakuykoy, my legman forever, provide the answer.

And his answer would be inabraw, dinengdeng and pakbet.

What’s going to wash them down?

Megan Gana, my work-from-home secretary, would surely say, “A choice of either basi or siyoktong.”

Guys, what’s for midnight snack?

No need to answer.

I know it: Sky Flakes as we are running out of Sky Cables.

There’s salabat, too, I know.

There’s peanuts, too.  Inlambong.

My guess for tomorrow’s breakfast?

White, steaming rice with insanglil ya urang.

Three-in-one coffee to go in a sachet.

Lunch, I know, would be paksiw ya pingaw liberally laced with red tomatoes.

Now from cuisine to Covid-19, fellas.

I know we’ve suffered a lot and, alas!, we continue to suffer.

Covid-19 is so vicious a virus it has changed our way of life so radically that adjusting to the new normal has become such a pain in the ass.

We see Covid-19 downing thousands of our countrymen since February, with some 75,000 still ill.

Thousands have died, too, making this pandemic crisis the worst to hit us since World War II.

In fact, this is like World War III already.

The only difference is that this war is not man versus man but virus versus man.

And man is fighting blind against an unseen, completely invisible, enemy.

Only God can see our foe so that we must not stop pleading for His help, His mercy.

OMG, no vaccine, not even a surefire medicine, is in sight that can totally stop the virus from infecting more, killing more God forbid.

Of course, it helps that three man-made defenses against the virus have proven effective.

These are washing our hands as often as possible with soap or alcohol, wearing a face mask as much as we can and maintaining physical distancing (at least six feet apart from anyone) at all times.

I counsel you to always avoid cramped spaces and crowded areas.

I know that you know those reminders already but there isn’t any harm in repeating—and more.

So, no kissing please, as doing it even just for once could be your cruel kiss of death.

Avoid hugging and embracing, substituting it with a mere wave of the hand.

What’s so difficult with that?

Let’s ignore the Americans, especially those that don’t believe in protocols to avoid getting infected.

So ultra-democratic are many Americans that after refusing to wear face masks, they even spit at sales ladies and clerks manning the cash registers.

Freedom of choice, they insanely reason out.

Do those sonamagun jerks even know how to pray?

Perhaps.  Only the Godless ignore the fact that prayers are our ultimate hope of salvation in times such as this.

Thus, before I end, let me remind one and all again that my State of Nothing Address is nothing but a reiteration of my love for you.

Through thick and thin, I am with you.  Digong or no Digong.

Now Valentin, my shot of siyoktong, please?

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