Learnings in Life


By: Dr. Ashok G. Vasandani


Here’s a story I read in a page in Facebook from “NTD Inspired Life”. I’d like to share, something we can all learn from.

“I got home one-night and as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, “I want a divorce.” She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words. Instead, she softly asked me “Why?” I avoided the question, and this made her angry. She threw down the chopsticks and shouted, “You are not a man!”

I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage, but I could hardly give her a satisfying answer. But my heart now belongs to Jane at work. I didn’t love my wife anymore I just pitied her.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement stating that she could keep the house, the car, and a 30% share of my company. She glanced at it and tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent 10 years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for the memories we had shared and how it will all be lost in the river of time. She cried loudly, the idea of divorce had finally sunk in. It was real, and brutally ugly.

I got home very late from work the next day, and found her writing something at the table. She didn’t want anything from me, but asked that we pretend to have a normal marriage for the next 30 days.

Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month and she didn’t want to disrupt him with a broken marriage. She also asked me to recall how I had carried her on our wedding day. And that I now carry her from our bedroom to the front door every morning for the month’s duration.

I thought she was going crazy, but to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request. We were both pretty clumsy about it when I carried her out on the first day, but our son was joyfully clapping his hands behind us, singing, “Daddy is holding mommy in his arms!” And his words broke my heart. I carried her from the bedroom to the living room, and then to the door. She whispered, “Don’t tell him about the divorce” I nodded and put her down.

We weren’t as clumsy on the second day. She leaned against my chest and I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realize that I hadn’t really looked at this woman for a long time. She was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, and her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her.  For a minute, I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that out sense of intimacy was growing again.

It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by, and I suddenly realized that she was getting very thin.

One morning it hit me how she was burying so much pain and bitterness in her heart, and without really thinking about it, I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at that moment and said, “Dad, its time to carry mom out!”

To him, seeing his father carry his mother out had become an essential part of every morning.

My wife gestured to our son to come closer, and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might start changing my mind. I carried her in my arms, and her hand naturally wrapped around my neck. I held her body tightly, just like on our wedding day.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. I knew what I had to do. I drove to Jane’s place, walked upstairs and said, “I’m sorry Jane, but I do not want to divorce my wife anymore”

It al became very clear to me. I had carried my wife into our home on our wedding day, and I am to hold her “Until death do us apart”. I got home, flowers in my hands and a big smile on my face. But my wife had died in her sleep while I was away.

It turns out that she’d been fighting cancer for a few months now, but I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knows that she would die soon, that’s why her final request was so important to her. She wanted our son to see I was a loving husband and we were together until “Until death do us apart” 

SOURCE: https://www.facebook.com/InspiredLifePage/

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