Punching Bug

By January 9, 2017Archives, Opinion

Terrorism. Drug war. Matobato.

By Ulysses R. Butuyan

 

CHRISTMAS TERROR: 54 HURT IN 3 BLASTS. What’s the score in the drug war terror?

“I ONCE THREW A MAN FROM A HELICOPTER”- DUTERTE. Why, was he already sick that early?

DUTERTE TO FIGHT OFF OUSTER TRY, AS HE INTENDS TO HONOR HIS CONTRACT WITH THE PEOPLE. A contract to kill them? Somehow he sounds like a hired gunman, or is he a so-called “vigilante” himself?

SLOWER GROWTH, WEAKER PESO SEEN. At least the death rate has increased and the population has been reduced. Maybe that’s the modern formula to our economic growth and success.

COPS WARN REVELERS: WE WILL ARREST YOU. Cops warns?! This headline must have been aptly written in police English. PNP guys, especially investigators, are not famous for grammar despite the abundance of their intelligence funds.

DBM DEFENDS 670% HIKE IN THE PRESIDENT’S BUDGET. Maybe he needs more guns and bullets for the drug suspects. He also needs “silencer money” to keep his drug war cohorts loyal and quiet.

“I SAW DUTERTE KILL 8 TIMES”- MATOBATO. It must have been when his eyesight became poor. He could have seen more.

MATOBATO CLAIM IS INCREDULOUS, PALACE SAYS. Maybe too good to be true. Bato’s claims are Gospel truth, however.

RUSSIA WANTS WAR GAMES WITH PH NAVY. Will they understand each other? Add the Chinese and we’ll be multi-lingual even in saying “putang ina.”

WHY SHOULD WE LIMIT OUR USE OF CELL PHONE? Too many friends and relatives ask for “pasaload.”

AFP, PNP PAY RAISE ONLY IN 2018. The generals don’t need it.

IN 2017 WE NEED FRIENDS, NOT FOES, DUTERTE TOLD. But funeral parlors need bodies. With our generously accommodating Russian and Chinese friends, who needs Americans? Son of a bitch!

WE’RE DRIFTING FROM US TO CHINA, SAYS PH ENVOY. At least we can say “son of a bitch” to the Chinese with impunity. Besides, we love to eat Chinese noodles and there are even no Chinese blacks to confuse us.

WHERE’S THE P3.8B INTELLIGENCE FUND AMID EXTRAJUDICIAL KILLINGS, PNP ASKED. It must have been used to make the policemen more intelligent. They have even discovered that the crime of murder and its “shootout” justification are synonymous.

rtc51_tayug@yahoo.com for comments.

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