Punching Bug

By September 5, 2016Archives, Opinion

Duterte, drug war, death penalty

BUTUYAN

By Ulysses R. Butuyan

 

MOST OFW’S STRANDED IN SAUDI WISH TO STAY, GOV’T EXECS FIND. Purgatory is cooler than Hell.

COPS LINKED TO DRUGS, SLAYS. Is that meant to surprise readers?

MORE THAN HALF OF 1,779 KILLINGS BLAMED ON VIGILANTES. No war versus vigilantes? The police are yet to divulge their names if the latter do exist.

BISHOPS BACK DUTERTE BUT URGE RESPECT FOR LIFE. As a soft drink ad goes, “Be Real!”

FA SEC.: PH NOT LEAVING UN; DUTERTE IS JUST TIRED. In his picture, even Jun Yasay looks exasperated himself.

ECONOMISTS RAISE GROWTH FORECAST. Not of our population. Ask the police.

DEATH PENALTY WILL SET PH IN WRONG DIRECTION. No need to restore it. It’s already back. All we need are shootouts.

DUTERTE RESENTS CRITICISMS OF HIS ANTI-DRUG WAR. Who says no one is higher than the Pope?

PNP AND AFP VOW TO CARRY OUT DUTIES. Please omit fictitious drug buy-busts and extrajudicial killings.

GROUP TO PROTEST MARCOS BURIAL. Why not ask them to keep his corpse themselves.

ESPINO SUPPORTS DUTERTE’S DRUG WAR. It doesn’t look like a war. Maybe it’s time for them to each buy a new pair of reading glasses.

BATO SORRY FOR REMARK ON BURNING OF SUSPECTED DRUG LORD’S HOUSE. Why not just rain stones on those houses if that’s also legal now?

DRUG WAR TO BOOST PHL’S INTERNATIONAL IMAGE. It is even notorious already.

NO ANARCHY IN SPITE OF THE DRUG KILLINGS. Just plain shootouts wherein suspects never win.

HOUSE APPROVES RULES ON IMPEACHMENT. In CJ Corona’s time there were no such rules except the Php 50M ones.

PEDICAB DRIVER DID NOT SHOOT AT COPS, WITNESSES SAY. Did the police mistake his ride for an army tank, hence, a gun battle ensued?

PALACE: IT’S UP TO SENATE TO DEAL WITH DE LIMA. What has the Senate to do with their personal animosity?

SUMMIT IN LAOS: THEY ALL WANT TO MEET DUTERTE. They better not look like drug suspects.

ALAN WANTS COPS, SOLDIERS SLAIN IN DRUG WAR HONORED. The living only receive service merits, awards, medals and promotions for jobs “well done.” There’s really more fun in the Philippines!

DUTERTE DEPLOYS MORE TROOPS. More funeral parlors to open.

DUTERTE IS BACK AT WORK DESPITE MIGRAINE AND BACK PAINS. Let us pray.

BILL TO IMPOSE CURFEW ON KARAOKE SINGING. Please kill the off-key singers.

HOUSE CAN’T PASS FOI BILL THIS YEAR. Not now; there are still many skeletons to hide.

GOV’T: NPA MUST STOP EXTORTION. In law that’s usurpation of authority.

GOV’T PRODDED ON NATION-WIDE SMOKING BAN. No ban on human rights violations?

(For your comments and reactions, please email to: punch.sunday@gmail.com)

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