Feelings

Falling in love at first nengneng . . .

By Emmanuelle

THERE is this famous psychologist who fervently believes people tend to be in the right mood to fall in love at first sight when the weather is fine; the sky is blue with wisps of feathers etching lazy Cirrus strands across its face; a gust of wind stirring now and then to puff the heat away, and to whisk a gentle tousle to your hair. Alagar ka, wala ni! With colors blooming here and there.

From out of the crowd, The One detaches his neat self, you look into his eyes, he looks into your eyes, and Gala, ading! Your heart goes Kabog! Kabog!

On the other hand, you would hardly be in the position to fall in love when a super typhoon is trying with all its might to whip away your roof and walls and floor and, of course, you. The waters keep on rising and everything you are familiar with is churning monochromatic gray and black and quickly disappearing a foot a minute. Your heart will definitely not do a Kabog! for him floating by your disintegrating past and present even if he were The One, even if he were half-naked, if his arms were clutching not around you but tight to a tree limb, his mouth screeching Saklolo! Saklolo! so much louder than your scream.

Kidding aside and seriously speaking. Though we had read of it, had seen it on screen, or had heard it actually happily but sometimes calamitously happening to people close to us – many of us are skeptics, cynics, non-believers of this mystery as best described by Roberta Flack. Take it away, Berta! The first time ever I saw your face / I thought the sun rose in your eyes / And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave / To the dark and the endless skies.

How could it be possible that you meet, much less catch a glimpse of a person for the very first time and suddenly you are cross-eyed, wall-eyed, blinded; you breathe fast, like a mile a minute, or you stop breathing and promptly execute a cardiac arrest; you clutch your chest, still you cannot keep your heart from vaulting free and bounding clear to the other person’s feet, meanwhile slobbering blood from its tongue of an aorta? Na-ah, that is simply not possible, nor even faintly acceptable.

Antoy imbangat nen inam? Never ever trust strangers. And here you are, kanenengneng mo labat, you are hopelessly falling in love with the lot of them. The person could be a terrorist, rapist, serial killer, budol-budol gang member, or all of the above unpalatable characters.

And ten seconds after the first time ever I saw your face, you are dreaming of going the next step further, of doing the next Roberta Flack verse: the first time ever I kissed your mouth / I felt the earth move? And another ten seconds later, you are contemplating: the first time ever I lay with you / I felt your heart close to mine / And I knew our joy.

Ay, anggapo la, ina, ama, lola tan lolo, kabarangayan kon inaro. Akibatik ka met la amo?

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