Woman

By Emmanuelle

Woman, when you look at the mirror, what do you see?    

 

Let me tell you about four real women:

 

Mayi married young. Her husband was her heart’s choice, but marrying him meant marrying deep into his family, too. It was a family that wrapped itself in a cocoon of tradition. At the same time, it was a family entrenched in the intricacies of business. And in the past decade, of politics. Mayi never had to bother about finding a space for her own; a space was readily made for her. Automatically, she became co-partner in whatever her husband enmeshed himself in. She managed the home office and the staff, she personally oversaw the care of her home and her kids, she took over where her husband left off in business and, sometimes, in politics. 

 

When Mayi looks at herself in the mirror, what does she see? A woman fulfilled? Or a woman engulfed?     

 

Louella was making her mark as an excellent college professor when she married a rich landowner’s spoiled only son. Her husband’s family found it difficult to adjust to her intensely academic world; they would rather have a simple, manageable daughter-in-law. Unfortunately, her husband thought so, too. He had extra-marital affairs with women whose qualifications were not as distinguished as Louella’s. When he “housed” one of these women, and he brought to his parents’ home another one, and the parents accepted these situations without qualm, it was time for Louella to call it quits. They divided the kids equally between themselves. Later in life, she moved in with a bachelor, who promptly got himself bedridden.

 

When Louella looks at the mirror, what does she see? A victim of wrong choices? Or a survivor of life’s comedy of errors?  

 

Jopay never saw the need to bring home a husband. She was an intellectual and an artist; she believed that happiness can be found within one’s self, and fulfillment is merely a state of being. Outside of her professional life, Jopay spends time caring for her family and others, even strangers, who need the assurance of a caring world. And Jopay can be stubbornly insistent to make the world care.

 

When Jopay looks at   herself in the mirror, what does she see? A happy person? Or an image of what others see in her?

 

Edna had no college background, thus she had very limited choices. After working as househelp, then as shopgirl, she married a guy equally distraught as herself. The kids came, and they still keep coming. The couple’s combined income from the fishmarket is just enough to keep food in their stomach, a flimsy roof over their heads, and a tiny garden in a squared patch of squatted land. Does Edna even have a mirror to see herself in?

 

Woman, when you look at the mirror, what do you see? Do you look happy, contented, fulfilled? Or just the opposite? Does your smile tilt up or swerve down? Do your eyes lit up in anticipation of each day, or do they gaze back at you in somber, silent contemplation, even in accusation for the wasted, emptied years?

 

“Seeing” yourself is the first big step towards “being” yourself.  Look soon; look now. It’s never too late; it’s never too early.

 

I dedicate this article to the women of Pangasinan as a contribution to the celebration of the International Women’s Month this March.

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