Tall tale
By Al S. Mendoza

 

 

 

 

 

I AM STILL at a loss for words. I mean, I cannot seem to find the right reason why Ate Glue did what she did: Declare a state of  national emergency. Did you see Tora! Tora! planes bombing Clark?

No.

Did you see NPAs storming Malacañang?

No.

Did you see invaders beaching at Lingayen Gulf?No.

Did you see Maoist forces crossing Limahong Channel?

No.

Did you see FPJ backers massing at Edsa?

No.

Did you see Bin Laden terrorists planting bombs at LRT-Monumento and Five Star bus stations in Dagupan?

No.

What we saw was Ate Glue appearing on TV, telling us she was declaring a state of national emergency to protect the state and the people.

People were actually laughing and utterly amused instead of celebrating while watching Ate Glue perorating on TV. 

They asked: From whom is she trying to protect the state and the people?

The opposition from Congress, who are but a minority and could only collect puny numbers while trying to impeach Ate Glue?

The opposition from the Senate, who could not even make hay out of the surfacing of Garci despite overwhelming proof that Garci had helped Ate Glue steal the elections of May 2004? 

The pocket rallies calling for the ouster of Ate Glue? 

Jojo Binay, the diminutive Makati mayor dying to see Ate Glue out of the Palace?

The columnists, radio and TV commentators who do not stop calling for the resignation of Ate Glue?

I am puzzled to this day.

I mean, isn’t it crazy seeing Ate Glue make a mountain out of a molehill?

To see is to believe.

We saw nothing scary enough to merit the declaration of national emergency.

Look, under Tita Cory, at least seven coups were mounted against her from 1986 to 1989, the most serious being the 1989 siege that saw part of  Camp Aguinaldo going up in flames.

We all saw mortars fired, tanks rolling into enemy lines, hostile planes bombing government installations.

Yet, amid all this clear and present danger, never did Tita Cory declare a state of national emergency.

At least Marcos had the Plaza Miranda bombing and the mock ambush on Enrile to lean on in declaring martial law in 1972.

But Ate Glue?

She had nothing, has nothing up to now.

Oh, well, Art Lomibao, our kabaleyan PNP chief, has come up with a tale detailing before TV news cameras what he claimed was a plan to hostage him and force him to withdraw support from Ate Glue. Lomibao, Ate Glue’s No. 1 running dog today, said it was mainly this foiled military operation that triggered the declaration of the state of national emergency.

Do you believe him?

I don’t.

I don’t because Lomibao’s tale is nothing but a tall tale. It is so incredible a tale it might yet make a killing at the tills if made into a James Bond film, if not a sequel to the “Mission Impossible” blockbuster starring Tom Cruise.

Well, what more can I say, General?

Nice try.  

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