Not so little helpers!

By Emmanuelle

Mother’s little helpers have big, wondering eyes, begging without remorse “Let me, lemme! Ako na, siak la!”  They insist they can be trusted to do work beyond the capacity of their height and chubby, grubby little fingers, such as measuring, mixing, turning-over chops frying in pan, washing dishes, wringing laundry, managing appliances, building a garden bonfire.

With mother’s little helpers around, cakes turn out more floury than buttery, fries are mangled if not burnt to crusts, there are more broken pieces than whole dishes, laundry and labanderas end up soapily entangled sa batya.  And may heaven forbid the worse possible scenarios! The tykes plugged themselves into the sockets! Or the bonfire is not anymore the harmless garden variety but a full-blown job for the big red firetrucks.
 

The memories look perfect on camera and looking-back-to-yesteryears stuff. You do not look at things as fondly when you are the parent stuck in the middle of the muck, wringing your hands helplessly, your voice and blood pressure rising to match Pavarotti’s pitch.

What an unbelievably dreadful parent you are! This, the neighbors whisper to each other within your hearing, and to Bantay Bata behind your back.  To help you regain some measure of sanity, let us talk about getting you the not-so-little helpers.

Yaya Inday!  These Inday stories would an interesting novel make! Who else but a character witness in the first person can write about the best and the worst in us as lord and master of our own homes? But let us nip this ambition while still in the bud. We’ll make a lot of employers jittery.

All  right, we settle with an introduction to Inday muna to represent the army of female domestic workers here and abroad who help make possible the country’s economic survival in these difficult times. Hello, Gloria! Inday, who gets to play mother’s major or supportive roles when the cat, ay mali the mother is away.  As soon as one or both the responsible adults walk out the door to the worksite nearby, as in sa bayan lang or afar as in across the seas to another shoreline, Inday’s function and responsibility automatically assume gigantic proportion.

Figuratively and literally speaking, Inday gets to slip on mother’s slippers, mother’s apron and even mother’s icebag to keep off the ubiquitous migraine. She does the daily marketing, cooks the meals, feeds the baby and the older kids, cares for them when sick, scolds or breaks up their fights, cuddles them when naapi, napalo o nakurot, brings to or fetches them from school, helps with the homework, bathes and puts them to bed, and finally lays her tired body beside them to sleep but for a few hours.

Because of the sheer demand for her presence at all times sometimes even on weekends, and because of her loyalty and her instinctive protectiveness, she becomes part of the family, as near to a second mother as anyone can be.

One judges the kindness and generosity of the masters and the family by the length of Inday’s stay with them. If Inday refused to extend her stay for more than a month, her refusal spoke volumes. If Inday lived-in with the family from the children’s cradle to years after, should we speak more?     

Some Indays know the meaning of the end justifying the means. With their savings or with some support from their employers, they get to finish vocational or regular courses. They become professionals themselves. We also hear of other Indays who enter the service with intelligence kept hidden inside their skull and diplomas tucked inside their suitcases. Euphemistically, we call these Indays our Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs).  

This attention-shirking Indays gave birth to their opposite, the snappy Inday, a lovable myth being circulated around through a series of text messages. The following are two of our favorites:

Local Employer: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likuran ng bahay?  

Inday:  A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.  

Local Employer: (Nosebleeds.)

Then take this OFW Inday who writes home: Dear Mom, had it not been for the smelling salts, I would have collapsed a moment ago. Junior has become a little bundle of monstrosity. Remember the head accident he just had? As if that wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the headteacher of his shabbily-ran academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such strenuous employ! Your daughter, Inday.

Instead of Mom, her Tatay replies: Dear Inday, walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Na-ospital Nanay mo! Dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng peste yawang sulat mo! Heh! Anak ka talaga ng ina mo, Tatay.

(For past columns, click http://sundaypunch.prepys.com/archives/category/opinion/feelings/)

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