By Farah G. Decano

 

AS a lawyer, I do not just listen to the legal issues of clients. Sometimes, I become their sounding board on other matters such as personal and family issues.  They spill out their thoughts, opinions, and feelings about their circumstances.  While I have no formal training in psychotherapy, I tend to be deeply interested in their stories as I help them navigate their own perceived quagmire.  I continue to be amazed by their varied viewpoints and ratiocination that are shaped by their respective personal histories, intelligence, and culture.  If I have to make a mental image of their notions and concepts, each mind process is a work of art in itself.

Like any lover of art, I cannot help but form an opinion of those who allow me to gain entry into their so-called mental “art exhibit”.  Some hold their brushes and paint their own stories.  They take control of the events in their lives, take accountability for their acts, and make amendments to their errors.  To me, this mentality is most beautiful. It reflects a state of mind that is humble, healthy, and mature.

I can only shake my head at those who excuse their mistakes and blame them on others, and those who view their continuous failure as a conspiracy of events against them.  Ugliest, are those with sick and evil minds that can plot harm and inflict disaster on others for lust, money and/or power.

Whenever I feel that I have gained the foothold as personal adviser of my client and not just a legal counselor, I start to ask the difficult questions.  I would ask them how much of their misery do they take the blame for.  What can they do to make amends?  What do they intend to do to avoid similar problematic situations?

Interestingly, the manner of thinking by some individuals can be reflected in their auras which refer to the energy that surrounds a person’s being. There are those whose energy is so inexplicably negative and prickly.  And only after due exploration of their thoughts am I able to find an explanation for my initial revulsion.  Remember the saying, “You cannot judge a book by its cover?”  Well, in some individuals, “Kung gaano kapangit ang itsura ng tao, ganoon din ang budhi.”

While being a lawyer makes me do some initial psychoanalytic work, there are people who apparently just want my services for the latter.   I remember a funny incident while I was on my flight to Brazil for a talk on women’s rights.  Beside me was a beautiful Brazilian woman in her early thirties.  Probably because we were both in business class which provides better privacy for a meaningful conversation, she started opening up about her romantic relationship that was going nowhere.  As I propounded to her some questions, she seemed to slowly become enlightened about her circumstances. Then very soon, she began to realize that she held the power in her hands to help her situation after all.  She expressed her thanks and I could see her eyes light up. With a big smile on her face, she asked me, “Are you a psychiatrist?”  “No, I am a lawyer,” I responded. Instantly, the glow on her face disappeared.  She stopped engaging me in a tete-a-tete again.  I did not know why and I could only surmise that, perhaps, lawyers around the world are generally seen with a negative reputation.

I wish I can change this “notoriety” of some lawyers as mere mouthpieces for money.   There are lawyers who have a priestly heart.  I believe my Papa had one.  And I hope to have the same.

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