Journey with my own clutter

By Virginia Jasmin Pasalo

 

ONE December, I photocopied a book on how to manage clutter and sent them as Christmas gifts to close friends. My friends to whom copies were given, also asked me to reproduce for them, to be given to their friends. I thought that very few women have the need to manage their own clutter as I do, but it turns out that women do have a lot of clutter. Some forty copies were ordered by Sr. Mary John, for the nuns.

One friend confessed that she is just able to sweep the area she walks on every morning, nothing else. Another said, “I cannot throw away clothing that played a big part in my life, the dress I wore on my first day of school, my wedding gown, and I never threw away panties. Panties are very personal, and I do not want to see them in the garbage, among the biodegradables.”

That’s even better than the state of my clutter. My niece who goes to my room every now and then, was once tempted to arrange the books together, the papers, and an assortment of things that are inhabiting my bed so i can sleep on my own bed, and not on the Japanese mat I usually sleep on, on the floor. That single act of concern made me lose track of my documents that were arranged according to my concept of order. I had to reinstate my clutter to put things back to order.

There is a more important clutter that I deal with daily. It is the clutter in my consciousness, perhaps even the clutter of my unconscious, which manifests itself in a dream. There are many things that impose themselves daily, and there is not enough time, even if you allocate time, to a set of priorities.

A friend advised, “This is how you set your priorities: Ask yourself, if today is the end of the world, what would you rather be doing?” That question never helped me because the answers always points to a desired destination, and misses the unique experience of the journey.

It is a moment to moment challenge, to deal with clutter, both physical and otherwise. I realize, through my long journey with my own clutter, that I tend to regard them no longer as clutter, but as part of the unique process of “doing” and “undoing” myself. Sometimes, a clutter in the mind that has been thrown away comes back as a sweet relationship.

In this process, they are like leaves, some of them drop to the ground, before the coming of the rain, and naturally degrade with the passing of time, and eventually enrich the ground where they lay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WIND

“It is good to open the window,” she said

“so that the air can come in,

and sweep through the room.”

 

So she opened the windows, and the door

and the wind came in

along with the street cats

and the street dogs

and the flies

that just feasted

on dog shit

Share your Comments or Reactions

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments