Feelings
Before I lay me down to sleep!
By Emmanuelle
Mother taught me this prayer, but never did I have the intention to pass it on to my descendants:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
It would be too dark and depressing to open the kids’ eyes, so early in their young lives, to the possibility of their dying during the night, when their eyes are closed in the deep of sleep. Opened and closed.
I could just imagine the questions the inquisitive ones would ask: why must I pray for the Lord my soul to keep when I am just laying me down to sleep? Can I instead just pray for Him to keep me safe from the tikbalang, the bampira and the evil men who snatch babies that bridges may be built?
Why should I die before I wake? Mama, Mama, am I sick? Di ba the doctor just said I am so very kyut but just napabayaan sa kusina? Di ba he said re-juice, re-juice? So that’s exactly what I had been doing, di ba?I had been drinking all those juices till I think am turning orange? Di ba I let them turok holes all over me for the vaccines, and I did not scream too much kahit na you said they were less painful than mosquito bites and they were definitely not less painful they so very awful? So very very?
Then, there is, too, the I-can-see-dead-people kids. They would be so terrified! Why would they die before they wake up? The boogeyman would swallow them whole, black hair, black knees, black warts and all?
Dada, flush the boogeyman out from under the bed! Now! Mamas, hang garlic, hang onions, hang ginger, hang pepper around the bed, by the windows, by the door. Do not forget the closets. Leave them open, or nail them all shut. The boogeyman wants to boogie, and these young ones do not.
Enough na. You get the point.
I would rather change the words, and teach them thus:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray: Lord, make sure You’d peep.
If I should die before I wake,
Please wake me up! Please let me live!
Those new words now are truly mine. Well, most of them anyway. Some of them?
Still, there is the death threat between the lines. There are other variations I can think of. Just in case your kid would be so terrified as to refuse to lay me down to sleep but would rather sleep sitting up, standing up, just keep me doing it up until the be-yoo-ti-ful sun comes up:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
Between my Dad and Mom I creep.
They’d keep me snugly through the night,
Won’t kick me out till the morning light.
And the kicking-out is not because the death threat is gone.
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