Punching Bug

Yasay. Lascañas. Mining.

By Ulysses R. Butuyan

 

DFA SEC. PERFECTO YASAY JR. DUMPED FOR LYING. If all liars in government were dumped, we would be seeing a colossal mountain of garbage, indeed!

CONGRATULATIONS TO WHITE-HAIRED BEDAN SAMUEL MARTINEZ, NOW AN SC JUSTICE! Time to blacken your hair, sir. With white-haired Bedan DFA Sec. Jun Yasay gone, white hair may be hazardous to one’s health.

CONFESSED HITMAN AND RETIRED POLICE OFFICER LASCAŇAS TO TELL ALL IN LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL COURTS. Even criminals can be of great value to the world. Let’s not mete on them the death penalty; let’s give them a chance even while serving sentence in jail. Who knows? They might even be innocent except that it is the judge who is guilty of error or incompetence.

TOO MUCH WORK CAN BE DANGEROUS TO ONE’S HEALTH. Lousy pay is even far more catastrophic.

WHY IS CHINESE TYCOON JACK MA LINKED TO FAKE TAX STAMPS? Because when he was asked by an Ilocano BIR collector to use authorized tax stamps, he answered “Ma Jack!”

IGLESIA NI CRISTO COMPOUND KEEPS YIELDING A ‘SEA OF FIREARMS.’ In the new era of ‘tokhang’ it pays to have an armory where an “In God We Trust” sign hangs.

SPO3 LASCAŇAS: 4 MORE HITMEN TO TESTIFY. May they live long enough to fulfill it.

DUTERTE WON’T SEE DAILY EXCUTIONS DURING HIS TERM. He had already seen many, even long before he became president.

AFTER COPS’ AMBUSH, DUTERTE ORDERS WAR ON REDS. Is there no war on vigilantes and rogue policemen who murder not just 4 cops but 8,000 mere drug “suspects?”

DENR SEC. GINA LOPEZ FACES BYPASS. Why, does her heart lack pity on miners?

SOLON CALLS DUTERTE’S CLAIM OF OUSTER EFFORTS OF MINERS ‘CRAZY.’ He’s just marshaling the sympathy of his rabid adherents, as usual. To them, he always speaks Gospel truth.

MORE THAN 50% FILIPINO DRIVERS ARE STUPID, SAYS SEN. SOTTO. Almost 100% of traffic law enforcers are even worse. They do not even know that kuligligs, tricycles and tractors are not supposed to run along provincial and national highways, that no motor vehicles should be on the road beginning at dusk or during rain without their lights on, and that a driver should be thoroughly tested before he acquires a license to drive.

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