General Admission

Gordon’s own brand of circus

By Al S. Mendoza

 

THE circus is on.

And I see no immediate ending to it.

For, haven’t you noticed?

All we get is a litany of nonsense and stupidity from Dick Gordon’s Blue Ribbon committee hearings.

This has got to end or our country will just simply deteriorate into a drama of comic proportions.

We’ve had enough of Senate brouhahas and zarzuelas that before we know it, our Senate might yet end up a major source of Broadway and West End bloopers.

The Manila Opera House might reopen to accommodate an avalanche of toilet jokes and sick skits.

Aren’t virtually all the participants in Gordon’s turf into empty rhetoric, if not hair-splitting gobbledygook?

They now even call a bribe money as goodwill money.

Upps, wait.

An attempt to bribe is also now being defined as a business decision.

And what is extortion?

It is money close to P100 million given by one in deep shit.

The recipients are government officials who claim the loot as an evidence in an entrapment operation.

When the entrapment was to be staged, no one ever volunteered to say.

Not one dared asked.  Not even Gordon.

And yes, that P100M-plus—was it a bribe, or an extortion?

They hate definitions.

Only vague images are thrown here and there.

Well, for clarity, that money was brought to a garage for safekeeping.

And the owner of the garage wasn’t even aware of the huge amount of money being hidden in his property.

“It was my birthday party,” he said, “and a lot of my friends come to wish me well every time.”

Two well-wishers came to party not in the sprawling lawn but in the garage.  Pitch dark.

Another Gordon guest said he did not give the dirty money to the bribe-takers.

“I merely received it for delivery to them,” he said.

He was asked:  “Who gave you the money?”

“I did not withdraw the money from the ATM,” came his answer.  “I do not want to touch the money.  I just gave it to them (suspected extortionists).”

He said the missing P2 million was for lawyer’s fees.

But when the lawyers smelled something fishy (they always do), they withdrew.

Sen. Cayetano was the only reasonable man in last Thursday’s circus.

“Just answer yes or no,” he said, consistently, to anyone he had asked.

Sometimes, Gordon also said that.

But his shouting and arrogant style clouded his impartiality, if not his inherent braggadocio.

Gordon berated Justice Secretary Aguirre for not stopping the attempt to bribe.

“There was no crime yet being committed, your honor,” said Aguirre.

“There was seduction,” Gordon shot back.  “Weren’t they seducing you to commit a crime?”

I guess they could not, would never, succeed.

A man’s hairpiece is a vital cog in any romantic liaison.

Not to mention, any circus prohibits sexual undertones.