Punching Bug

Bishops. Duterte. Trump.

By Ulysses R. Butuyan

 

FIVE MILLION JOIN MARCHES AND RALLIES AROUND THE WORLD VS. TRUMP. But only in countries not addicted to extrajudicial killings.

CHINA: NO STOP TO SPRATLYS WAR DRILLS. Filipinos might even be deployed there to lend support to Duterte’s newfound friends and allies.

BATO STAYS AS PNP HEAD. He better be retained. If fired, he might spill the beans and seek asylum in Chicago.

AGUIRRE SAYS GOLF SET FOUND AT FUNERAL PARLOR WHERE BODY OF MURDERED SOUTH KOREAN LIES MIGHT HAVE BEEN PLANTED. Let PNP plant a gun, too, to prove that the victim was the aggressor in a shootout.

BREASTMILK, NOT GOAT’S MILK, STILL BEST FOR BABIES. Goats have breasts, too. Is breastmilk  also best for husbands?

PNP DIRECTORS GET DUTERTE’S NARCOLIST. Do they also get an honest list of drug lords in high government places?

WHY DOES THE GOVERNMENT PREY PRIMARILY ON THE LOWLY DRUG ADDICTS AND PUSHERS? They can’t be blamed alone for their wretched lives. They are mostly victims of unemployment, poverty and injustice, thanks to government neglect, incompetence and corruption. If the death penalty must be restored, it is because the scoundrels, oppressors, incompetents and nincompoops in government deserve it.

DRUG LORD’S BANK ACCOUNTS FROZEN. Why only one? Are some of the others invisible or untouchable?

IT’S BISHOPS VS. DUTERTE WHO SAYS THE CHURCH IS FULL OF SHIT. Priests should learn to say, “Putang ina.” Did not the Catholics vote for him?

PINAY HANGED IN KUWAIT FOR MURDER AFTER HER CONVICTION AND HER APPEAL WAS OVERRULED. There was due process. She was not summarily killed as a suspect. There is more fun in the Philippines!

CORRUPTION WORSE UNDER AUTOCRATIC LEADERS, SAYS ANTI-CORRUPTION WATCHDOG. Here, we applaud and lionize them.

ELECTRICAL TAPE, INSTEAD OF BIKINI, TO COVER PRIVATE PARTS IS A FASHION FAD IIN RIO DE JANEIRO. That’s where human electricity begins.

DOS AND DON’TS IN THE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER? Here’s one: Do not enrich yourself at the expense of the innocent roosters in the cockpits.

REP ROQUE IS BEING UNSEATED OVER HIS “SEVERELY DAMAGING” STATEMENTS. Were they worse than uttering “putang ina” to a U.S. President and a UN Secretary General, and “shit” to the Catholic Church?