Stairway to heaven, highway to hell

By Virginia Pasalo

 

THIS morning, I was laughing at an FB post, about why in going to heaven, you travel in a stairway, and not a highway as provided in hell. “Stairway to Heaven” is a song popularized by Led Zeppelin and composed by guitarist Jimmy Page and vocalist Robert Plant and “Highway to Hell” was sung by AC/DC and composed by songwriters Angus McKinnon Young, Ronald Belford Scott and Malcolm Mitchell Young.

I got an explanation in the afternoon, after going through the traffic in V. Luna, going through Anonas, then Kamias, through Xavierville, bound for Katipunan.

I was going to meet a very important priest, but God did not probably think it was a matter of extreme unction. I got stuck in between cars, and when finally we had a chance to turn around, an irate driver pushed his car right in front of ours. The taxi driver stopped, so I offered to get down, but he insisted to bring me back to Jollibee where i flagged him down. The road to Xavierville was blocked on both sides, so I called the man of God, and told him, “Fr., we cannot meet today, i am sandwiched between irrational drivers.” He texted back, “It’s”okay, traffic is now up to Katipunan.”

It is 2:00 p.m., i did not have lunch, so I grabbed a burger with mushrooms, and sat for awhile. The traffic is still snagged, and the lane going to Aurora Boulevard from Anonas is not moving an inch, and there was no vehicle on the opposite side, since impatient drivers also took half of the lane. I had to walk, otherwise, it is like waiting for angels to take the stairway to earth, a good thought but at best, wishful thinking. Along the way I bought two young coconuts and an avocado.

I practically walked on a half-empty street from Save More to Kalayaan owing to the fact that vehicles could not get through, but on the other side of the street, spilling over half of the street where I walked, the queue snaked its way, bulging at various points depending on the level of irrationality of the drivers, or car owners.

What a common sense, the songwriters knew, there is no traffic to heaven, a stairway is enough. The road is not enough for the kind of people that now plague our streets, drivers driving like two-year old kids driving go-carts, putting one over the other, impatient and irrational, making the major thoroughfares and intersections, a huge parking lot. We need to move them out of the parking lot to a bigger highway, so that they can arrive at their true destination, in time for the party, in hell.

 

Kalsada ed impiyerno

Akakaput su dalan ed tawen

para’d sikan masiken

anggano wala’y takayan a melag

say abuek, napelag

Maawang su kalsada ed impiyerno

diman ka lan sigurado

Si Satanas man-alagar, akaimis

Sikato lay mankumis

ed sika.

 

The road to hell

The gate of  heaven is closed

for you, old drunkard

even when there is a stairway

you will surely drop away

 

The road to hell is wide

for sure, your destination

the devil waits, smiling

He will enjoy babysitting

you.

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