De Lima unveils thespian talent

By Al S. Mendoza

 

SEN. De Lima was hysterical.  And then not.

She broke down, or appearing as one.  And then she was composed.

She did all that last Wednesday—and more.

The entire country watched it on TV.  Thoroughly enraptured.  Stunned.

It was as if she was playing out a Sisa-like role in a drama-laden telenovela.

Suddenly, “Ang Probinsiyano” has become second-rate.

Jaclyn Jose, the Cannes star, has shrunk to a midget.

And Charo Santos, the Venice toast, has to step aside.

Enter Leila de Lima, the new queen of the silver screen.

Internationally-acclaimed directors Brillante Mendoza and Lav Diaz must have loved De Lima’s bombastic performance.

Unrehearsed at that.

With De Lima’s masterful maniacal monologue, either Mendoza (not my relative) or Diaz might fervently wish to meg her.

In a starring role at that.

No need for audition.

Name your price, Madam Senator?

You might just realize the Senate is not your calling.

Show biz could be it.

Mendoza might title your film debut, “Ma’ Rotsa.”

Diaz might call it, “Ang Babaeng Hayup.”

Either way, the film might yet prove to be a blockbuster, break all records and end up as the best-grossing film of all time.

The plot itself is a surefire winner:  Hell hath no fury to a woman scorned.

Just one reminder to both Brillante and Lav:  If they need a male lead opposite De Lima, I strongly nominate Ronnie Rickets.

Not Ronaldo Valdez, please.

Ronnie’s moustache suits well to add to the façade of his macho image.  Perfect for Leila.

Besides, Ronaldo Valdez would appear too old a love interest for Leila.

But on the other hand, how about Duterte Hari as Leila’s love-interest in the film?

Remember, did not Leila, in the midst of her volcanic outburst, say, “Are you not in love with me?  (Baka may gusto ka sa akin?”)

My God, it’d be a perfect pair as the birth of a DuLeila combination could yet demolish such established love-teams like AlDub, Nadine and KathNiel.

People will simply swoon over such prospect, not exactly because of DuLeila’s weird chemistry but because of its fiercely love-hate menu similar to the Kris-James saga of recent memory.

There is just one problem in the proposed DuLeila tandem: Secretary Aguirre being chosen as Duterte Hari’s sidekick.

Leila might lose her cool if Aguirre meddles too much in the DuLeila love affair.

In the heat of the moment, a hair-pulling scenario between Aguirre and De Lima might ensue.

As a result, Aguirre could raise hell.

And not even Manny Pacquiao could possibly pacify Aguirre, whose hair is as vital an organ as Leila’s acerbic tongue.

It’d make a scene straight from Mario Puzo’s “The Godfather,” if not “Basic Instinct” starring Sharon Stone. Uncensored.

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